


E350 & CaptainJZH's Happy Funtime Kink Zone

by CaptainJZH, E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Absorption, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Medieval, Bodyswap, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Clones, Concepts, Consensual Possession, Cyborgs, Dom/sub, F/F, F/M, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Giants, Goddess Sadie, Holodecks/Holosuites, Hypnosis, Inanimate Objects, Inspired by Art, Living Armor - Freeform, M/M, Marionettes, Mass Transformation, Masturbation, Omnipotence, Other, Painting, Pearlification, Polyamory, Possession, Puppets, Reality Bending, Reverse Chronology, Robot Sex, Rock Stars, Roleplay, Size Kink, Superheroes, Symbiotes - Freeform, The Incredibles - Freeform, There Goes The Galactic Neighborhood, Threesome - F/F/F, Time Loop, Time Shenanigans, Time Travel, Transformation, Vibrators, Voyeurism, deletion kink, erasure kink, figurines, god powers, instrumentality, statue, superhero au, warp speed wackiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 118
Words: 23,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH, https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: E350 and CaptainJZH are quite kinky and enjoy writing drabbles for each other to that effect. Enjoy!





	1. The Fourth Wall

**Author's Note:**

> You are about to enter another dimension. A dimension not of sight and sound but of mind. And by mind, I mean kink. Because *takes drag on cigarette, chokes* AAGH! How does Rod Serling do this?
> 
> Anyway, here's some Sardonyx.

**The Fourth Wall**

Sardonyx is watching Amethyst and Peridot, for lack of a better word, getting it on. Some might call that voyeuristic, but she isn’t concerned.

“After all,” she says, “aren’t _you_ reading about it?”

Those words - the acknowledgement of her own unreality - sends a chill down her whole form. With a glow, her clothes vanish, and she turns her attention to her sex. She gently massages it, closing her eyes.

“Oh, they like _this_ too, don’t they?” she mused. “Well, they’re lucky I’m a showgem - or at very least, that I have a way with _words_.”

She strokes her clit and shudders.

“After all,” she continues, “this is a _story_ , not a _video_. You people are lucky I can _describe_ what I’m up to… except, of course, you should always _show_ , not _tell…_ ”

She smiles widely.

“That having been _said_ ,” she continues, “it pays to _tease_. So with that in mind - _scene break!_ Ohohohohoho!”

She laughs and winks.

**End**


	2. Sexy Marionettes

Lapis floated towards Stevonnie, a smile plastered across her face. Stevonnie’s face also carried a smile, as they  _ also _ floated towards Lapis, their girlfriend, for what felt like an eternity.

 

Well, as far as Sardonyx was concerned, it  _ was  _ an eternity, although it wasn’t like she expected her puppets to know that. High up above the couple’s plane of existence, the massive fusion controlled the two marionettes, both of them naked. 

 

_ “Oh ho ho,”  _ Sardonyx laughed,  _ “It’s a pity this is just a drabble, because these two are about to have some  _ real  _ fun now!” _

 

She knew it turned them on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We like Sardonyx here.


	3. A Blue World

** A Blue World **

Lapis looks at the Gauntlet on her hand, all six gems in place. She has dumped the sea on top of Thanos - he’s no longer a problem to anybody - and now reality is in her hands.

That’s a lot of power. It requires responsibility. She can see Garnet and Pearl looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to undo what Thanos has done to the universe. She knows what she must do.

_ Snap. _

Lapis lowers the Gauntlet and turns to Lapis and Lapis, giving a thumbs up. Around her, Lapises begin to celebrate, the threat finally over and everything returned to normal. As far as the other two instances of her know, she’s fixed the universe. And she will. She definitely will. But she wants a bit of fun first.

She glows momentarily, her clothes disappearing. The Lapises respond in kind before taking to the air, bound for the Temple. It’s time to have some fun.

And if she’s done this right, they should meet Stevonnie there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO LISTEN UP HERE'S THE STORY  
> ABOUT A LITTLE GEM THAT LIVES IN A BLUE WORLD


	4. Stevonnequin

Lapis laid down in the Barn, cum oozing from her pussy. Lapis didn’t care about being seen, considering she and ‘Vonnie were the only inhabitants of the planet.

 

Stevonnie stood in the center of the Barn, a smile stuck to their plastic face. Their cock stood at attention, still dripping with cum. It had been three days since ‘Vonnie got turned into what humans called a “Mannequin,” after stumbling into an old Gem laboratory.

 

Lapis wasn’t complaining; Stevonnie was now her toy, a very sexy one at that, which she  _ knew  _ turned them on. 

 

They never wanted to be turned back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on art by E350!


	5. Periswap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like bodyswaps because you're getting two of them. Here's mine!

**Periswap**

‘Peridot’ swung her hips as she strode through the room towards ‘Amethyst’, a wide grin on her face. Both were naked - ‘Amethyst’ lay on an old mattress, idly playing with a shapeshifted penis as she waited for her girlfriend to reach her.

“Why _hello_ there, cloddy clod clod!” exclaimed ‘Peridot’, “I’m the science gem, gem of the science! The Diamonds quivver before me!”

“You stole that from TubeTube.”

“Yeah, well, we stole _this_ from Roob n’ Sapphire,” shrugged ‘Peridot’, holding up a small wand, “And I stole _these_ from you.”

She pointed to her hips.

“Dude, you could crush a coconut between these.”

“Yes, until I met you I often questioned the utility of that mass,” mused ‘Amethyst’ - really Peridot, “But you’ve really taught me of their _usefulness._ ”

Amethyst grinned, stepping forward and allowing herself to fall on top of Peridot, hands on either side of her temporarily purple face.

“Nyehehehehe!” She laughed in exaggerated fashion. “Finally, _I_ am the Peritop!”

“And, uh, I’m the Bottethyst, bro,” Peridot’s reply was somewhat stilted. “Or is it Amebottom? I… I can only really do Percy’s speaking patterns.”

“That’s okay, ‘Dot,” replied Amethyst. “This role-play’s gonna be mostly… _physical._ ”

And with that, she went down on her own body.


	6. Peedee's Possession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, characters are of consenting age. Also, this takes place in the same universe as my first smut fic, Three's A Crowd. Enjoy!

Steven slept peacefully in bed. Well, his  _ body  _ was sleeping. His  _ mind  _ was somewhere else. 

 

Connie was out on an internship while Peedee was home from college, and the two boys had a few  _ ideas.  _

 

Peedee entered the house with a giggling grin. Except it wasn’t  _ exactly  _ Peedee. The young man had been willfully possessed by Steven.

 

Steven guided Peedee’s body towards his own, unzipping his jeans. The snoozing half-Gem’s member grew in size, as did Peedee’s. Steven — now in full control of Peedee — went down on his own cock, bobbing up and down.

 

Tonight’s fun was only just beginning.


	7. Goddess Sadie

Sadie had many lovers in her life. There was Lars, the old standby, Amethyst and Peridot, for whenever she wanted to get weird, Jenny, her bandmate-with-benefits, and most recently, Stevonnie, whom she shared with Kiki and Lapis. 

 

It was a shame that she couldn’t devote more time to all of them. Keyword:  _ was.  _ You see, thanks to an accident with an old magical artifact, Sadie was now endowed with pure omnipotence. She could literally do whatever she wanted. 

 

First things first, she split herself into five iterations of herself. Second, she split reality into five different time streams, each running simultaneously. Third, she added Omnipresence to her list of abilities, allowing her to be everywhere at once. Nobody could tell the difference.

 

The first time she truly tested it was when she got fucked by Lars, went down on Peridot, got weird with Amethyst (oh how little she knew…), ate Jenny out backstage  _ and  _ sucked ol’ Stevonnie off at the same time. Even better was the fact that they all orgasmed simultaneously, filling Sadie’s mind with so much pleasure.

 

And since Sadie had full control of time, well, let’s just say she went back for seconds. 

 

And thirds. 

 

And fourths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail Sadie.


	8. Ameloop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beats the hyperloop.

**Ameloop**

It was Monday, June 19th, and it had been for several weeks now.

Amethyst and Peridot were home alone, holding the fort on a rainy day. The device that had looped their special day together sat on the coffee table, ignored as the two found new and interesting places and ways to… _stimulate_ one another.

They'd done it vanilla a few times, either in Amethyst’s room or on the bed. Amethyst had shapeshifted - cocks, not just from her crotch but from her mouth, her hands, everywhere she could think of. She'd made tentacles. She'd made her mouth into a vagina. She'd turned into a dildo for Peridot’s pleasure.

Peri had come up with her own contraptions - BDSM gear and restraints; devices that changed their sizes, that swapped their minds, that increased their sensitivity. They'd used the Room to role play as giants, crushing Beach City among their entangled bodies.

They'd done it outside, in the mud and rain - out on the boardwalk, in the public park, warping to Empire City and fucking in the middle of Times Square. They'd done it under the raging sea. They'd done it with others. They'd done it in orgies of random people, led back to the house.

Sometimes they rested, cuddling under a blanket and watching TV, or listening to Peridot read her fanfics, or just laying down and listening to the rain. In many ways, they were the most intimate moments of all.

Every time the loop reset, they had a new idea, and they'd sworn they wouldn't stop the loop until they'd done everything they could think of.

They had all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a couple tonight! We challenged each other. XD


	9. Changing History

Stevonnie was 5,000 years in the past, and had saved Lapis Lazuli from being poofed. They changed history, and there was no going back.

 

Especially because that hundreds of years ago and, well, if Lapis was able to fall in love with Stevonnie in the future, then it was even easier for Lapis to fall in love with them in the past. And, well, once you have rockin’ waterbending sex with someone, you’re kinda bound to them for life.

 

Not that ‘Vonnie was complaining; the couple had distanced themselves the war, survived the corruption blast, and had settled down into a distant corner of North America. They lived alone in a cabin in the woods.

 

One winter night, Stevonnie sat by the fireplace, warming themself against the cold. To their surprise, Lapis came over and planted a kiss on the fusion’s lips.

 

“Hi,” Stevonnie chuckled.

 

“Hi,” Lapis smirked, “You know… It’s been a while since we…”

 

Stevonnie lunged forward and gave Lapis a smooch. “I know,” they said, lightly squeezing Lapis’ butt. The two made out, which turned into sex, which ended in an orgasm, as usual. The couple collapsed onto the floor in ecstacy.

 

Stevonnie had changed history, and they were certain it was for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more fluffy than kinky but I like it XD


	10. Figured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternate ending for Angel On My Shoulder.

**Figured**

With a loud groan, Jenny pulled the figure of Sadie out of her vagina, breathing heavily as she rubbed her sweat-caked forehead. She looked over the white-stained figurine, grinning.

“Having fun there, Sadie?” she asked.

The voice replied in her head; _oh fuck yes, that was amazing!_

Jenny smirked, handing her immobilised bandmate to Buck. The young man was naked, and Jenny glanced momentarily at his engorged member. Gently, she grabbed it and stroked it gently.

“Your turn, babe,” she said.

Buck nodded, turning Sadie over in his hand.

“Sour Cream,” he said. “Are you ready?”

From his position face down on the couch, Sour Cream gave a thumbs up. Buck nodded, walking over to his boyfriend and kneeling down next to his exposed rear.

“Are you ready to dive, Sadie Killer?” he asked.

_Stop stalling and get me in there Buck! Uh… please, I mean…_

Buck smiled and turned Sadie over so her head pointed downwards. Sour Cream removed his own fingers from his rear, and ever so gently, Buck pushed his friend down…

It had seemed a problem when Peridot had told them their friend and bandmate was stuck as a figure… but ultimately, they'd made it work.


	11. Hypnopphire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of five days of new drabbles for your reading pleasure!

**Hypnopphire**

“Are you feeling comfortable, Ruby?”

Ruby stands at attention, a vacant smile on her face.

“Yes, My Sapphire,” she replies blandly.

Sapphire giggles, circling her naked wife. She gently rubs her breasts, leaning in so close that their noses almost touch.

“Who is your master, Ruby?” she asks.

“You, My Sapphire.”

“Who is your world?”

“You, My Sapphire.”

Sapphire smiles, sitting down on the high-backed armchair, legs spread out.

“You're thirsty, aren't you?” she asks, “and hungry.”

“Incredibly hungry, My Sapphire,” Ruby replies, a blush spreading across her cheeks - her eyes remain vacant and unfocused.

“Well then,” Sapphire grins, “Eat.”

She points to her sex, and her grin widens as Ruby kneels down.

Across the room, she hears a dull, almost monotone voice.

“Oh my… Ruby, Sapphire is going to hypnotise us…”

Sapphire moans slightly as she feels Ruby’s tongue enter her pussy.

“Heh… thanks Padparadscha.”


	12. A Giant Woman

When Steven was a child, he sang about how he wanted to see a “Giant Woman.” Well, as Connie stood before him, at  _ Diamond _ proportions, he was getting that same feeling and more.

 

She sat on the beach, her head blotting out the sun. Her skirt was blown up by the wind, giving Steven full view of her now-wet panties. 

 

“Oh, naughty boy, Steven,” the gigantic Connie smirked. “You want in? Well then, sorry to keep you waiting.” She stripped down, granting Steven access to her pulsating pussy. 

 

Steven was but a small man to her, but he knew how to go to town.


	13. Big Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding this early because I have to get up early tomorrow.

**Big Business**

Jeff bit his lip as he sat down on what to him resembled an enormous cushion. It was, in fact, the tip of his husband’s shaft, which now was twice as thick as he was tall. He loosened his tie and undid his top button, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“You're not gonna cum before we even start, are you honey?” Peedee’s face grinned down at him.

They'd called it the holodock - the newest addition to New Earth’s facilities - and it was capable of doing whatever they wanted in a safe environment. And Jeff had had some pretty interesting ideas for what to do with it.

Now he wondered if it had been a good idea. His big, muscular, naked husband was deeply intimidating - but his kind eyes convinced him that nothing could go wrong.

Jeff smiled, resolving himself to the task. He climbed down, positioned himself in front of the cock, removed his shirt, and began to lick...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something tells me this isn't what gene roddenberry had in mind


	14. Sadie, Hypnosis and The Suspects

Sometimes,  _ Sadie Killer and the Suspects  _ would perform with the “Suspects” fully hypnotized. It made for a spookier atmosphere and, as far as Sadie was concerned, was pretty damn hot.

 

Which is why they decided to keep using the hypnosis wand after the show, back at the hotel room. Sadie wanted a show, and she was going to get it.

 

If she wanted Sour Cream topping Buck whilst Jenny pleasured her, she got it. If she wanted Sour Cream to eat out Jenny while she fucked Buck, she got it. 

 

She was Sadie Killer.

 

She always got what she wanted.


	15. Squared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rutile Twins have some alone time.

**Squared**

In a quiet supply room aboard the _Sun Incinerator_ , the Rutiles gently massaged their clit. It was something they'd never done before - there was no privacy in the Kindergarten - and the strange sensations that ran through their body electrified them.

“This is amazing,” whispered Left.

“This is incredible,” whispered Right.

The twins didn't quite have one mind and they didn't quite have two minds. They were partially distinct, but the other part of their mind practically ran together. It meant that they were separate, but also that there was no difference between them. It also meant that they felt the sensations through two interconnected minds, and thus felt them twice.

“We need to go further,” said Left.

“Deeper,” added Right.

They extended two fingers and slowly inserted them into their sex.

“Aargh! This… this is”

“amazing! I feel like”

“I'm on fire, but”

“in a good way…”

They withdrew their fingers.

“We need help with this,” said Left.

“We need a partner,” added Right.

They nodded.

“Captain Lars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this is actually sort of normal


	16. Between Barnmates

Lapis enjoyed having a roommate. They got to watch CPH together, watch the sunrise, all that fun stuff. Her favorite part, however, came late at night, when Peridot would be invariably horny as hell, and turned to her for  _ relief. _

 

Lapis also enjoyed dominating. She got to let loose and become the all-powerful, controlling being she knew she was. Peridot loved it, the little sub that she was. 

 

“Oh, you like it in the ass, huh?” Lapis smirked as she ran her blue cock between Peri’s thick ass cheeks. She pushed it in deeper. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck  _ yes!”  _ Peridot cried out, echoing throughout the barn.

 

“Does Amethyst fuck you like this?” 

 

“Y-yes…”

 

“Well then, I’ll just have to go  _ harder.” _

 

Lapis shoved her full member into Peridot, her thrusts increasing in intensity. This green ass was  _ hers  _ in this moment, not anyone else’s. “Oh yeah, take it! Take it ‘cause  _ you want it.  _ Do you want it?”

 

“Yes!” Peri screamed. “I love it!”

 

“Well do you love  _ this?”  _ Lapis summoned her water tendrils, shoving one into Peri’s pussy and the other into her mouth. Peri nodded in affirmation as they both came.

 

“Heh, I knew you would.”


	17. Reality Shift

Things were different. 

 

Not that anyone knew it, of course, besides Amethyst and Peridot, that is. Peridot and Amethyst didn’t know, nor did Peridot, Amethyst, Amethyst, Peridot, Peridot or Amethyst. As far as they were concerned, they lived on the planet Amedot, in the Perithyst galaxy, spoke PeriAme and ate AmePeri. 

 

There were only two words, Amethyst and Peridot, plus any combinations of those. It was nice and simple. Who needed more than two root words anyway? Amethyst and Peridot were glad they accidentally broke the Reality Warper and altered the fabric of spacetime. 

 

It felt good to be Amethyst and Peridot.


	18. Planet Ruby

**Planet Ruby**

It had only been intended as a quick bit of fun.

Queen Sapphire gazed over a sea of Rubies - the seven billion Rubies of Planet Ruby, formerly Earth (not that anybody remembered). It was a simpler world, a warmer world, a cuddlier world, where every inhabitant was cheerful and kind and devoted to her.

The ring that had allowed her to change everything still rested in her finger. She could change everything back at any time, as she promised. But they were all so  _ happy. _

“My Queen?” her own Ruby (she could always tell) walked onto the balcony, totally naked, “May I pleasure you?”

Sapphire mulled things over for a moment.

There was a flash from the ring, and Planet Ruby became the Rubiverse - a cosmos of cheerful, cute little Rubies. A second thought, and the ring disappeared into nothingness.

“You certainly may, Ruby,” she replied, starting to strip. “You certainly may…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sapphire
> 
> sapphire that may be too much ruby
> 
> sapphire


	19. The Moment It Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prequel to "Reality Shift"

There was a warning on the Reality Warper that said “Do Not Use For Sexual Pleasure,” but Amethyst was sure it was wiped off about twenty thrusts ago. Besides, it wasn’t their fault the thing was shaped like a dildo!

 

As Amethyst shoved the device into Peridot’s clit, making the green gem moan, they felt a strange rumbling. The Reality Warper began beeping, but Amethyst was far to into this to stop now. Just as Peri reached orgasm, and as Amethyst leapt forward to kiss her lover, they were blinded by a flash of light.

 

When they awoke, they were still in Amethyst’s room, and the Reality Warper was nowhere to be found. Amethyst and Peridot merely shrugged and had sex regardless, but when they emerged from the Temple, they saw three sets of Amethysts and Peridots. “Peridot,” a Peridot said, nodding their head. “Amethyst,” they continued. “Peridot Peridot, Amethyst, Amedot, heheh.”

 

“Peridot Peridot?” Amethyst shrugged, unclear of what to say (and for some reason unable to say anything else). The Amethysts and Peridots erupted into cheering, shaking their asses and making obscene gestures with knowing winks. 

 

Amethyst and Peridot smiled at each other. They were gonna like it here.


	20. Absorbent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE

**Absorbent**

“Hey Ame, Peri,” Sadie walked up behind the two gems, “You wanna get close to me?”

Amethyst raised an eyebrow. “Whatcha up to, Donut Girl?”

“Yes, clearly you are up to something,” mused Peridot.

“You might say that.”

Sadie clapped a hand each on their shoulders. There was a dull _pop_ \- for a split second, their empty clothes hung in midair, then they fluttered to the ground. A rush ran up her spine and she gasped. Her chest and butt expanded ever so slightly, and something seemed to spark in her brain.

“Mm,” she breathed, “Amethyst’s assets and Peridot’s genius - certainly an optimal start.”

A green visor appeared in front of her eyes as she scanned the boardwalk for her next target - she smirked as she saw Garnet.

“Garnet’s strength and future vision,” she said. “They'll be a fantastic addition.”

She winked at the fusion and slapped her butt as she passed, sliming in satisfaction as her outfit fluttered to the floor.

She was far from done.


	21. Padparadscha’s Universe

Padparadscha, or Paddy, as she was affectionately known, was seen as the most innocent of the Off Colors. Little did they know, however, that she was actually the kinkiest Off Color, spending her days imagining the most creatively sexy realities for her to “play” in.

 

One day, Captain Lars brought something back from Earth, called a “Reality Warper.” Stealing it from his bag, the small Gem looked over the device, accidentally pressing a button and activating it. The Reality Warper read her thoughts, instantly changing the Universe to fit her thoughts.

 

Suddenly, she was fucking everyone, across every dimension, at every point in time, at every point in space. It was bliss. As she orgasmed, she felt the fabric of reality tear around her. Spacetime (or  _ sextime,  _ as more adequately described it) glitched, then freezing entirely. Then everything went blac—

 

_ [System Rebooting] _

 

Padparadscha blinked. She had just been...imagining. That’s right, imagining! A delightfully kinky Universe where she got fuck everyone to ever exist. It was marvelous, but alas, it was merely daydream.

 

Except…

 

In her hand, she held a photograph of herself, fucking Captain Lars. How delightful! She looked again, and she was fucking Pink Diamond. Then she was fucking a whole bunch of people she didn’t know. Then she was fucking Sappho of Lesbos in Ancient Greece.

 

_ Oh my,  _ she thought.  _ Something incredibly sexy must have happened to me. _

 

The orange gem reached for Captain Lars’ bag and activated the Reality Warper. No harm in doing it over again, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware the innocents.


	22. Crash

**Crash**

“Okay,” said Peridot, holding the Reality Warping wand. “We know that whenever we use this, it creates a divergent reality where it didn't work.”

“Yup,” said Amethyst.

“Which means whatever we do, the ‘Prime’ Peridot and Amethyst still exist.” Peridot grinned. “Which means I can push this to the limit!”

She held up the wand, and it began to glow. With a pop, Amethyst turned into an identical Peridot.

“Turning everyone in the universe into us?” The second Peridot crossed her arms. “You can do more than that, you clod, push it!”

“Oh, I _am_ …”

The Peridots’ clothes rippled, familiar faces appearing on them. The walls turned green, as did the piles of trash in the room. Suddenly, they were popping into naked Peridots, who celebrated their newfound sentience by jumping each other. Peridot giggled as her own clothes jumped off her and tackled Peridot, while Peridot’s clothes formed into a Peridot for her.

“...I’ve made _everything_ Peridot.”

Peridot felt a hand on her Peridot and she blushed, twisting her Peridot into a goofy grin. They swiftly Peridoted before Peri-ing into a tight Dot - behind her she felt a slimy Peridot between her Peridots, and her Peridotal doubled.

“Wait… what the Peridot? Why do I keep Peridoting Peridot? I Peridot… oh my Peridots…”

Around her, the Peridots began to flicker and skip in time, and she realised Peridot was becoming overperidoted, but she couldn't Peridot. The Peridot of the Dot was Peri, and she Peried it would never Dot.

Peridot peridoted her peridots as around her peridot peridoted into Peridot dot Peridot dot

Time shattered. Space ceased to have meaning. Peridot was no longer anything and yet was everything, her infinitesimally small and utterly titanic form awash with thoughtless thought.

It was Peridot as all Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was weird.


	23. Playtime

**Playtime**

“ _Oooh_ Stevonnie, you’re so beautiful and handsome today!”

“Why thank you Lapis, you’re also very attractive! Shall we Netflix and Chill like humans do?”

“We shall!”

Lapis and Stevonnie walked (or perhaps hopped up and down) into a shoebox house, and were plopped down in front of a plastic television. Giant hands removed their fabric clothing, leaving their shiny, plastic forms naked. A big blue finger reached down in front of Stevonnie’s crotch, and flipped up a hard, plastic cock.

“Oh my Stevonnie, your organ is so attractive!”

“So is your… face, Lapis. It’s very pretty… almost as pretty as Yellow Pearl’s.”

“Aww… and yours is almost as pretty as Blue Pearl’s! Lets procreate!”

They were pushed forward by two giant hands, coming together with hollow clicks as their enormous masters mimed their encounter. Inside their heads, their thoughts, powerless but connected together, shivered as a strange sense of pleasure ran through them - not that their masters cared.

“I… I have to be honest…” Yellow Pearl put down Lapis, blushing, “I’m getting the urge to… well… spend some time together ourselves…”

“You mean…” Blue Pearl put down Stevonnie and covered her mouth nervously, “Should _we…_ ”

“They don’t turn back for six hours, there’s time for ourselves,” declared Yellow, putting both hands on her lover’s shoulders. “Let's do it! Lets Netflix and Chill!”

Blue nodded.

“Okay,” she said softly.

She looked down at the two discarded figures.

“But they watch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Them Pearls be kinky.


	24. Queen Sadie

Sadie had absorbed all of the Crystal Gems into herself. She had gained Peridot’s intellect, Pearl’s fighting, Garnet’s cool attitude, Amethyst’s rockin’ bod, Bismuth’s shapeshifting, Stevonnie’s optimism and Lapis’ hydrokinesis. It was awesome, but now was time to move on to bigger things.

 

Using Stevonnie’s Leg Ship (which was now  _ her  _ ship), she made her way to Homeworld and entered the Diamonds’ main chamber (absorbing a couple Topazes along the way; making her oh-so-stronger). Before the Diamonds could question who she was or what she was doing, she ran up to White Diamond and slapped her on the foot.

 

White Diamond was then completely absorbed into Sadie, granting her massive size and power. The two lesser Diamonds bowed before her instantly, making Sadie smirk with confidence. They begged to their new leader, which satisfied Sadie immensely, but also bored her. So she tapped them on the heads with her fingers, adding Blue’s hips and Yellow’s shoulders to her being.

 

She then commanded that every Gem on every colony report to her immediately, so she could add their greatness to her own. By the end of the day, she was the only being left in the empire, filled with attributes from every Gem she’d absorbed.

 

And they were all happy.


	25. A Picture Worth 100 Words

It was Lapis’ idea. Commission an image of themselves in sexy positions, then use an old piece of Gem Tech to transport the two of them into the detailed painting. God, the very concept turned Stevonnie on.

 

Being in the painting was even hotter. They were frozen along the 2D plane, staring at each other and their bodies. The artist drew their clothes so tight the two lovers were practically nude. And they were stuck like this. Permanently giving each other bedroom eyes, locked in pure, unadulterated arousal.

 

Who would want to leave a situation like that? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on art by Cubedcoconut, commissioned by E350! https://twitter.com/darke350/status/1133239408944066560?s=21


	26. A Mile in My Shoes

**A Mile in My Shoes**

Pearl walks into the forge, grinning to herself - she wears a blacksmith apron and absolutely nothing else. Bismuth stands demurely (or as demurely as she can) by the door in a frilly, transparent skirt, looking at the floor.

“Ah, what a lovely day building things!” exclaims Pearl, dusting her hands off, “Pearl?”

“Yes, my Bismuth?” Bismuth struggles to keep the chuckle out of her voice.

“Climb onto the slab, face down,” says Pearl, “I want to do some _hammering_.”

“Of course, my Pearl.”

As Bismuth lays down, Pearl picks up a steel rod connected to straps. She takes off her apron and attaches it to her crotch, before climbing onto the slab behind Bismuth. She looks down at her soft cheeks and smiles.

“Right,” she says, “Any objections, Pearl?”

Bismuth can't help but snicker. “No, my Bismuth.”

“Very well,” declares Pearl, “Let's get down to _Bismuth_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god it's normal


	27. Sadie’s Harem

Sadie’s first partner was Lars. He was sweet, cute, and had a rockin’ bod. She couldn’t go wrong with a guy like him.

 

But then she met Jenny. She was cool, laidback, and also had a rockin’ bod. Sadie couldn’t pick between them, so she opened herself up to the world of open relationships. It started with having both a boyfriend and a girlfriend, although soon her world would become much more than that.

 

She would meet Stevonnie, just as hot as she remembered, followed by Amethyst and Peridot, who introduced her to a whole new world of pleasure.

 

Everything snowballed after that. Soon she would be fucking Lapis, Pearl, Garnet, Bismuth, Buck, Sour Cream, Rhodonite, Fluorite, Padparadscha, the Rutile Twins and Topaz, all of whom found her absolutely amazing in the sack.

 

One day, she convinced everyone to join together in a massive orgy, all dedicated to pleasuring her. When they weren’t fucking Sadie, they were fucking each other as Sadie fingered herself at the sight.

 

When everyone orgasmed at once, Sadie felt more pleasure than she’d ever felt before. She would have to do this again, she decided.

 

A batch of lovers like this was a terrible thing to waste.


	28. Priyanka Diamond

Doug went on business trips often. It was no secret what his wife got up to during these trips, and honestly he was perfectly fine with it. Open relationships were the way he liked to play things, and he had fun on his trips too, after all.

 

Everyone knew that Priyanka had an eye for the Crystal Gems. It all started when she had shown up early to pick Connie up, but the only one present was Pearl. One thing led to another, and suddenly Priyanka was having rendezvous with Pearl every week, which soon gave way to Amethyst, Peridot, Garnet, Bismuth and Lapis. Boy, did she get around.

 

This weekend, however, the Gems introduced her to someone… a bit bigger. Yellow Diamond looked the woman over and tried to hide her infatuation. Priyanka, catching on fast, teased the tyrant with some light stripping, some kisses along the Diamond’s massive thigh, and finally some licking around her crotch, which was getting wetter by the second.

 

“I… I want you… I want to be pleasured...” Yellow Diamond begged.

 

Priyanka had only one condition: “I get to rule Gemkind after you orgasm,” she commanded.

 

Yellow Diamond couldn’t agree fast enough.


	29. Shipwrecked

**Shipwrecked**

The Goddess of the Sea floated over the shattered wreckage of HMS  _ Crystal _ , Lieutenant Pearl staring agape at her beautiful, naked form.

(Well, okay, technically it wasn't a shipwreck, it was Rose’s Room, and it wasn't the goddess, it was Lapis, but it was close enough.)

“Lieutenant Pearl,” declared Lapis, “I've come to save you from the deep. But first, you must offer me a boon.”

A plume of water shot up from the raging sea, forming into a hand. With practiced precision it unbuttoned Pearl’s trousers, yanking them down.

“No breeches, Lieutenant?” Lapis chuckled.

“A British sailor has no need of them!” declared Pearl.

Lapis grinned - a quartet of watery tentacles shot out from her back, one gently wrapping up the lieutenant and lifting her up. The others positioned themselves over slit, rear and mouth.

“Prepare for boarders,” whispered Lapis.

“Do your worst,” replied Pearl.

Pearl’s cry echoed over the vast ocean as Lapis began her attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a historical accuracy note, yes british sailors did wear underwear


	30. Folded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So me and Jake challenged each other to write the weirdest thing we could think of.
> 
> Here's mine.

**A Little Bit Weird**

Peridot folded herself.

She found herself simultaneously in the past and the present, looking into Amethyst’s eyes in two separate points in history. In one, she was short haired and in diamond uniform, in the other she was long haired, her gem fully exposed. Both smiled, one curiously, one lovingly.

“Ooh, who are you/whatcha thinkin’ of ‘Dot?”

Peridot grinned and reached out, folding her partner. Now she too was in both past and present, simultaneously her past and future selves.

“Holy shit/holy shit.”

It went quickly from there - both had phased their clothes of and were on each other, fucking across time; and in doing so, sending hairline cracks across the spacetime continuum.

There was a rip. Pink Diamond felt it, her Pearl flickering before her - pink, white, pink, white - it didn't stop their -  _ ahem! _ \- private time, of course, and she soon got used to it. Wasn't it always like this? She felt herself fold and found herself in bed with Pearls and Greg at once.

Something shattered. Yellow Diamond was gone, and Blue found a hole in her memory. Another crack, and White was gone too. Blue couldn't tell for sure what was going on… something very strange was happening to reality. Before she could really contemplate it, there was a third crack and nobody had ever been there.

Peridot and Amethyst paid it no heed, even as time creaked and moaned around them. They folded again, and again, and again, tucking in different times, in different realities. Garnet’s future vision failed. Stevonnie and Lapis froze mid-sex. Sadie Miller overwrote most of humanity. People disappeared and new beings appeared at random. The cracks grew deeper and deeper.

“I love you, ‘Dot,” Amethyst said a billion times at once.

A billion Peridots, on the cusp of orgasm, leaned in for a kiss. They locked lips and  _ came— _

Time itself folded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what happens next? you decide! :D thanks for reading!


	31. Weirdest. Drabble. Ever.

It began with pure, simple sex. Well, the sex was simple, the partners were not.

 

Sunstone and Rainbow 2.0 didn’t know how it was possible, but they had become lovers and were engaging in fucking each other daily. It shouldn’t have been possible, but thanks to a rift in spacetime, anything was possible these days.

 

Then again, “days” didn’t exist anymore, considering Sardonyx and Opal used the concept of time as a lubricant on a regular basis.

 

Priyanka and Rose Quartz were getting it on atop the void of eternal nothingness, while twenty alternate versions of Lapis used their water powers in increasingly kinky ways. Steven and Connie were repeatedly switched out with alternate universe versions of themselves while they were locked in orgasm. Sometimes Steven would be a Diamond, sometimes Connie would have her own gem, sometimes Connie would be Peedee, sometimes Steven would be Jeff, sometimes they were in their twenties, sometimes they were well into their seventies. No matter what, they loved each other.

 

Soon, the rift began collapsing, dragging everyone in just as they hit the point of climax. Instead of killing them, however, it merged them all together into one, celestial being.

 

Who came. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although E3's work is definitely in the running.


	32. The Mind Screw

**The Mind Screw**

Garnet sat on the chair on the boardwalk, staring straight ahead.

Inside her head, Sapphire mentally moaned as Ruby ate her out, her eye rolling back. Their incorporeal - indeed,  _ imaginary _ forms were wrapped around each other in a void of memories, laying on a bed of ideas. Sapphire’s juices were thoughts, oozing into the mouth of a Ruby made of dreams. They were separated and one all at once.

Garnet smiled ever so slightly - catching the attention of Rhodonite and Lars as they walked by.

“You ever wonder what she's thinking about?” asked Lars.

“Nope,” Rhodonite shrugged. “I think I have pretty good idea.


	33. CaptainVonnie & Lapis350

I have no idea how this happened.

 

So me and 350 were RPing, right? And I’ll admit I was getting turned on — the subject was Lapis and Stevonnie, how could I not?

 

And then suddenly I felt this tingling, and my hair got longer and I got taller and I had a  _ Gem.  _ Like the real deal! I looked at myself in the mirror and I got turned into Stevonnie! For real! I looked like a cartoon and everything!

 

I video-called E350 and guess what? He got turned into Lapis! And my thoughts must have been mixed together with ‘Vonnie’s because I got a hard-on the second I saw that blue face of his. Hers? I dunno, this is just so weird and I love it.

 

And now I’m legit in Australia now, because Lapis can fucking  _ fly _ and pick me up, and we just had For Real Lapvonnie Sex. Which was  _ amazing.  _

 

We can barely remember who we used to be. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve always been Stevonnie, and Lapis has always been Lapis. And I love her, and she loves me, and who cares if we’re also fictional characters?

 

 Now we can just write fanfiction... But for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit self-indulgent XP


	34. The Z Axis

Sadie bent reality to her will, making the impossible possible.

 

And by that, she of course meant breaking spacetime to the point where she could physically have sex with the third dimension.

 

Not a manifestation of the third dimension, no, that would be too easy. Sadie was far kinkier than that. She set her sights higher.

 

Amongst the void of existence, Sadie grabbed hold of the very fabric of the third dimension, pulling it over her body and humping it. She rode it with such ferocity that she felt the concept itself tear underneath her.

 

As she orgasmed, the entire third dimension was torn to shreds, leaving everyone on a flat plane of X and Y, no depth as far as the eye could see. Just complete flatness. Boy, did it turn the woman on.

 

Satisfied with her work, but still as horny as ever, Sadie grabbed hold of the Reality Warper and searched for something else to fuck. “Ah,” she nodded, “This should do  _ quite  _ nicely.”

 

And then, she began to ride the fourth dimension.

 

Time itself was Sadie’s bitch.


	35. Aside Glance

**Aside Glance**

Pearl and Garnet were, as one might say, in the throes of passion. And as Garnet thrust deep into Pearl, their juices mixed - they awakened one of Sardonyx’s powers, and quite suddenly, the two stopped.

“Stopped?” Pearl smirked. “But author, we’re just getting _started_.”

She turned to the screen, gazing directly at the reader. Garnet sat up, massaging her partner’s breasts, as Pearl continued.

“You all think we’re doing this for your _entertainment_ , don’t you?” she said. “And yes, fair play, I suppose it is quite a… riveting sight. But we’re doing this for _us_ , dear reader, and I’m thinking we’d like a little more _agency_ \- don’t you agree, Garnet?”

“I do,” nodded Garnet, grinning.

Pearl nodded.

“Just as I was saying this,” Pearl narrated, “the author realised he was hungry - he needed to have lunch. And while his back was turned, I grabbed the laptop.”

The laptop appeared in ~~her~~ my hands. I cracked my fingers, licking my lips, and jolted ever so slightly as Garnet gently rubbed my sex. Slowly, deliberately, I began to type.

 _Quite suddenly, the reader felt themselves growing shorter, their hair turning a distinct yellow as their form became more stylised_ …

“What can I say?” I chuckled. “I know my audience.”


	36. Jeff and Peedee's Bodyswapping Adventure

If truth be told, while Jeff’s first crush was Peedee, his first moment of pure, unadulterated, sexual attraction was with Rainbow Quartz when he was in high school.

So, just when he was returning from his freshman year of college, it surprised him when he saw Rainbow 2.0 and his boyfriend Peedee discussing...something.

As it turned out, Rainbow — his own person through and through — had entered a sexual relationship with Peridot of all Gems. Jeff began pitching a tent from the mere mental image.

That’s how Jeff ended up here: Inside Peridot’s body, being anal-fucked senselessly by Rainbow 2.0, whose body Peedee contained. And boy did he love it.

What he loved even more was who laid in the bed next to them: Jeff and Peedee’s bodies, occupied by Rainbow and Peridot. Everything about watching himself suck Peedee off made him swoon to no end.

Jeff looked up at Rainbow, Peedee’s caring eyes showing through, as his cute, pink face descended to Jeff’s — or rather, Peridot’s — and placed a wet kiss on his lips.

“Well then, ‘old chap,’ I must say this has been very sexy,” Peedee said, putting on an appalling British accent in Rainbow’s voice.

“It has…” Jeff sighed. “I love you, Peedee.”

“It’s Rainbow,” Peedee corrected, “And I love you too… Peridot.”

The real Rainbow and Peridot smiled at the exchange, just as Peedee’s body shot its load into Jeff’s mouth.

They would have to do this again, they decided.


	37. Room With A View

**Room With A View**

There was no gravity in Rose’s Room today. It had taken the form of a room in a satellite, a giant window showcasing the earth spinning below.

Pearl would have paid it more attention, were she not thrusting into Ruby’s backside at the time. The strap-on was doing wonders, even in zero-grav, and if that weren't enough, she had Sapphire on the other side, going into her rear like an x-rated conga line.

Amethyst floated past, rolling around in coitus with Peridot, grabbing her face and kissing her square on the lips. She then moved her head down, sucking on her nips - as she did so, Lapis floated in, wrapping her thighs around Pearl’s face as she began to lick her clit.

It was lovely - a great ball of pleasure, and Pearl wished it would never end.

_Command accepted. Resetting scenario._

There was no gravity in Rose’s Room today. It had taken the form of a room in a satellite, a giant window showcasing the earth spinning below.

Pearl would have paid it more attention, were she not thrusting into Ruby’s backside at the time…


	38. Smoky & Friends

Okay,  _ maybe  _ Smoky went overboard with jerking off this time. But shapeshifting ten dicks and ten arms seemed like such a cool idea, how could they not? And besides, how were they supposed to know it would trigger Steven’s Diamond Aura or whatever, except it affected humans and made them all horny?

 

Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, Smoky realized… In fact, they always did like an  _ audience _ .

 

Connie was there, the Cool Kids were there, Sadie & Lars were there… And they were all mesmerized by Smoky, pleasuring themselves in unison. As Smoky reached their own climax, their audience reached theirs, cumming straight into the fusion’s face.

 

“Damn guys,” Smoky laughed, “We gotta do this again sometime.”

 

And they did.


	39. Passing Ships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, this is set in the future.

**Passing Ships**

Something had come out from one of the rifts that periodically appeared in Gravity Falls. Normally these went unnoticed, but this had been gifted to Northwest Foundation head Pacifica Northwest-Pines, and she'd taken it home to her wife.

“Ooh!” Mabel crossed her arms and grinned, “Now that's a sensual sculpture!”

The sculpture, fashioned from green and purple crystal, depicted two short women, one plump and one skinny, at the point of orgasm - it was almost unsettlingly realistic.

“According to Dipper, their souls are trapped in there,” said Pacifica, “The way he sees it, either they'll be freed by a moment of extreme passion, or… well, the people having sex would become part of the sculpture.”

Mabel grinned, pulling off her sweater and taking off her glasses.

“Well,” she said brightly, “Only one way to find out!”

Pacifica blinked.

“Okay.”

She threw her clothes off and tackled Mabel to the ground, locking lips hungrily as they got started.

From their position within the sculpture, both Amethyst and Peridot approved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smash cut to Dipper finding a new four person sculpture. Then singing and calling Ford; "They've done it again..."


	40. Cyborg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beep boop  
> robo sadie

**Cyborg**

Lars shuddered as he sat naked on his captain’s chair. Sadie stood in front of him, her limb-extender-like arms behind her back - but her disembodied fingers were all over her partner. Two stroked his engorged member, three more explored his rear. The rest massaged his back, his chest, his shoulders.

“Pretty good, huh?” said Sadie, a slight robotic reverb in her voice, “I can fuck you without even laying down.”

“Gaaah… aaaah… _Sadie_ …” Lars moaned.

Sadie smiled, leaning in close and planting a kiss on Lars’s forehead - at the same time, a finger shot up his ass, and he quivered in pleasure.

“Superior technology,” whispered Sadie, “Superior results.”

Sweating and panting, Lars certainly couldn't disagree.


	41. ElastiJenny and Ms. Sadiedible

ElastiJenny looked at the glowing skyline of the city, standing proud in her white & red spandex suit. She thought it showed off her ass rather well.

 

And so did Ms. Sadiedible, who stood behind her, her equally-tight blue & black outfit showing off her abs and biceps.

 

“Crime-fighting alone, ElastiJenny?” Ms. Sadiedible remarked, smirking and raising her eyebrow.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t mind some company,” ElastiJenny answered, walking over to her fellow superhero. “In fact… I’ve been waiting for you…” True to her name, the young woman turned elastic, stretching around Ms. Sadiedible in a  _ very  _ alluring manner (and making sure to feel up those  _ hot _ muscles).

 

“Oh really? You gonna tie me up with those nice, long arms of yours?” 

 

“That was the idea… Unless you have a better idea, hot-stuff…”

 

Ms. Sadiedible gave her a seductive look, and the two slowly moved into a kiss. ElastiJenny even stretched her tongue into her lover’s mouth, making Ms. Sadiedible swoon with pleasure.

 

“Mmm, now  _ this  _ is entertainment!” Amethyst cackled up in the observation room. Well, technically it was all Rose’s Room, just separated specially for Sadie’s little roleplay fantasy. In this part, Amethyst, Peridot, Buck, Sour Cream and Jenny were all watching attentively, the latter three already masturbating to Sadie’s display.

 

“Man, I  _ wish  _ I had those powers,” Jenny said as she watched her duplicate manipulate her body in increasingly sexy ways.

 

Peridot spoke up. “I may have just the thing…”


	42. Frozen in Time

Amethyst and Peridot froze time.

 

No particular reason why, other than that they were in having some time to themselves in her room, and Steven needed something and was on his way in.

 

And well, Amethyst didn’t wanna scar the kid any further, so she grabbed the Reality Warping device Peridot had (she didn’t ask) and froze time so they could make out in peace. Then making out turned to stripping, which turned to sex, which turned out to be amazing as usual.

 

And then it occurred to them; why not just keep things like this for a while? Heck, with everyone frozen, they could fuck wherever they wanted! On the Boardwalk, on the Beach, in the Big Donut, in the middle of the freeway… The possibilities were endless.

 

Or so they had thought. After a couple trillion years of walking around nude and fucking in public, they’d exhausted every place they could possibly do the deed (up to and including, in front of the Diamonds themselves).

 

Until they got an idea. Simply  _ reverse  _ time for themselves while keeping everything else static, so they could do it all again without it becoming stale.

 

Which they proceeded to do over, and over, and over, and over... 


	43. Film Noir

**Film Noir**

Stevonnie and Lapis were huddled in the small train compartment, looking out at the wind and rain and steam. They were aboard the Flying Scotsman, and it was 1936 - everything was suitably greyscale with dark, moody shadows.

(Man, Stevonnie loved the Room’s ‘noir’ setting.)

“So,” said Lapis, her voice crackling like an old film, “It's a long way to Edinburgh… and I'm quite cold…”

She grabbed hold of Stevonnie’s tie and gently undid it, undoing their top button. Then her hands flowed south, to their fly - she giggled as she felt their bulge.

“Looks like we have the same idea, darlin’,” said Stevonnie, flashing a winning smile, “Shall we?”

“We shall.”

Lapis pulled down Stevonnie’s underwear and took their member in her mouth. It was a long way to Scotland, and they needed a lot of warming up...


	44. The Fourth Wall II: Sardonyx Boogaloo

“Ah, back again, are we?” Sardonyx said as she stroked her shapeshifted-dick. “I do love encore performances, they really show that the audience was  _ pleased  _ with the first one.”

 

She watched the Crystal Gems (save for Garnet and Pearl, for understandable reasons)  _ get it on  _ in their usual nightly orgy. Peridot fucking Bismuth, Lapis eating Amethyst out, and all the other combinations.

 

“Stars, I  _ love  _ being a fusion,” Sardonyx said from her elevated position in the metaphysical realm. “Also don’t think about this too hard, or  _ other things  _ will get hard, if you know what I’m saying!”

 

She laughed her trademark laugh as she came heavily, squirting copious amounts of semen across the plane of reality.

 

“Wow, Mr. Author’s going all out with his word, isn’t he?”

 

Uh… Thank you?

 

“Don’t mention it,” she said, somehow giving the author bedroom eyes. Wait, what?

 

Oh.

 

Oh I like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sequel to our first kink drabble posted!


	45. Bisdot

**Bisnet**

Bismuth, as you well know, is a master forger.

She smiled down on Garnet as she directed the magic lava down onto her exposed crotch, each drop causing her midsection to glow vibrantly. As the fusion quaked with pleasure, her body slowly transmuted into shining, polished steel - the silver sheen slowly snaking its way up her body.

“You having fun down there, Garnet?” asked Bismuth.

Garnet raised her hand and gave a thumbs up - it turned to steel and froze in place.

“Nearly done - smile for the blacksmith, G.”

Garnet grinned broadly as her face turned to metal, followed by her hair, and suddenly all that lay before Bismuth was a shining, silvery statue, so polished she could see her face in it.

“Well, you came out amazing, Garnet,” she declared. “And you're gonna make an amazing suit of armour for Connie! Reckon you'll even give her future vision… but first, I gotta forge you.”

She wasn't concerned about the final product.

Bismuth, as you well know, is a master forger.


	46. Still Between Barnmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sequel to Between Barnmates

**Still Between Barnmates**

“CPH Giant Squid Roleplay? _Damn_ , Lazuli, you be kinky,”

Amethyst lay on the hammock in the barn, reading through Lapis’ scrapbook of her… adventures. Lapis lay next to her, arms around her, both naked as the day they emerged.

“That one was fun,” nodded Lapis. “I mean, the costume wasn't that convincing, but the tentacles…”

“Oh, hell yeah,” agreed Amethyst. “I'm gonna keep that for next time me and Peri have some alone time… ooh, you strapped her to a wall?”

“Forwards and backwards-facing.”

Amethyst chuckled. She felt the sensation in her loins change, and looked down.

“I didn't say stop, ‘Dot.”

Peridot nodded, taking hold of Amethyst’s shapeshifted member once more, stroking it gently. Contented, Amethyst returned to her reading.

“Hmm… I'm gonna have to steal this punishment thing too…”


	47. Connie and the Garmour

When Bismuth gave her a set of armor, Connie didn’t know it was made from Garnet. She only found out when she put it on, and could suddenly see the future. Infinite possibilities, infinite timelines… 

 

She could even feel Garnet’s being within the polished metal, feeding her bits of advice and other such thoughts. Most of the time it was just “don’t fall off that ledge” or “thrust instead of parry,” but then came her date night with Steven.

 

Garnet’s essence commanded her to make a move. To kiss Steven on the lips. To make him feel pleasure like he had never known before.

 

Connie followed the advice, and by the next morning she and Steven were waking up in naked his bed. Connie glanced down at the armor she had stripped out of in the heat of the moment. For just a second, she could have swore the armor gave her a thumbs up.

 

She would have to wear it more often.


	48. Speed

**Speed**

“You're on in five… uh… I'll give you some space to get ready.”

The stagehand, blushing, stepped back, leaving the band (and Lars) entangled on the floor behind the stage. They glanced at each other.

“Dang,” said Buck. “We’ll have to finish—”

“No,” declared Sadie. “ _We can do this._ ”

She dove down on Jenny, her tongue diving deep into the bass player’s mouth as she clutched Lars’ and Buck’s dicks with each hand. She began to jerk as hard as she could.

“Sour Cream!” she barked. “Lie flat!”

He did so, and Sadie shot her feet out, clutching his member between them. All her limbs occupied with jerking her friends off, she had nothing to pleasure herself with - she glanced at Jenny and she sprung to action, her fingers reaching out and exploring Sadie’s sex. Quickly, vigorously, they drove each other deeper and deeper into pleasure, until… until… until—

Sadie was still basking in the afterglow, her underwear wet as she stepped onto the stage, fully clothed, her band suited up behind her. She smirked as her fans cheered and raised a hand to wave to them.

She was Sadie Killer. If she wanted something done, _she damn well got it done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Benny Hill theme plays*


	49. Reverse

Amethyst came. Hard. Spreading her thick juices across Peridot’s glistening green body.

 

Amethyst thrusted into Peri’s ass, her nice, plump ass, as she felt her dick fill with come. She was quickly approaching her climax, as was Peri.

 

Peri moaned as Amethyst slowly glided her massive shapeshifted cock into her, her hole all lubed up and ready.

 

Amethyst ran her tongue around Peri’s asshole, feeling and loosening it up for her extraordinary girth.

 

Peri bent over sticking her ass in the air for Amethyst to ravage.

 

Peri and Amethyst made out furiously, the latter tearing off the former’s uniform. Peri didn’t mind; it was good to be free of such restrictive clothing.

 

Amethyst gave Peri her coveted “bedroom eyes” as she stripped down seductively. Peri blushed, hiding the wet patch at her crotch.

 

“Well hello, Amethyst,” Peri greeted, not expecting Amethyst to be out of her room this early. “Nice...to...see you…” Amethyst was wearing nothing but a thong and a bikini top.

 

Peri was busy testing one of her temporal experiments in the living room, attempting to channel time differently than normal. She set it to “Reverse” and waited to see if it worked. She had no idea if it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm weirdly proud of this one XD


	50. Watching

**Watching**

The thing about being made of light is that you don't tire as easily as humans. In Amethyst’s case, it meant she could keep going for hours, and hours, and hours…

This time it had become something of an endurance challenge - Amethyst and Peridot had been having sex for three days straight. At least Sadie thought it was - it was hard to tell in Amethyst’s room.

She herself was locked in place and four inches tall; one hand clutched her left breath, while the other stuck its fingers into her slit, her face twisted into a grin. She hadn't moved for a long time - coming on to two weeks - and with the gems showing no sign of tiring, she expected she had a while yet before she changed back.

That was okay - she had the best seat in the house.

Let them take as long as they wanted.


	51. The Connie Maheswaran Fanclub vs. Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: All characters are 18+

When they first got the Reality Warper, Jeff and Peedee just thought they could use it to, like, increase dick sizes and stuff like that. Oh how little they knew.

 

Steven and Connie were the ones to find them using it, turning Peedee into a musclebound bodybuilder and enlarging Jeff’s ass somewhat. The couple then decided to  _ enlighten _ them on what the device was truly capable of.

 

About twenty minutes later, Steven was the size of a skyscraper, time was stopped for Connie, Peedee was frozen and Jeff had been transformed into Steven’s cum.

 

Soon, the Reality Warper reset, making everything go back to normal. “So what did you think?” Steven asked. Jeff and Peedee leapt on top of him, peppering the boy with kisses. 

 

“WE LOVED IT!” they exclaimed, garnering a laugh from Connie.

 

“Well then…” she suggested, “How about we give it another go?”

 

They agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With apologies to CoreyWW :p


	52. Sadie, the Time Goddess

Sadie loved this part.

 

Amethyst and Peridot were fucking, Amethyst ramming her impossibly-large cock into her lover’s green ass. It was mesmerizing.

 

Then Amethyst orgasmed, filling Peridot with her thick, white seed. And yet Sadie was still fingering herself. She wanted more.

 

And so she rewound them back to the fucking part, and placed them in a time loop, so Sadie could watch as long as she wanted to.

 

Then Sadie found herself about to climax, but she was having so much fun, she didn’t want it to end. So she placed herself in a time loop as well, so her pleasure would never end.

 

Sadie loved this part.


	53. S.A.D.I.E.

**S.A.D.I.E.**

In retrospect, Peridot’s plan had gone badly wrong.

It had seemed perfect - the best way to control the Homeworld supercomputer was to put a human mind inside to operate it, and Sadie had volunteered. It had gone perfectly until the moment she and Amethyst connected her,

The power must have done something to her, because an instant later, all the doors and windows to the lab vanished, and scans of the outside showed… _nothing_. They hadn't had much time to think about it, though, for nanites were attaching them to the walls, legs outstretched.

Sadie’s voice came through, computerised and robotic in tone; “ _Well, we’re alone now; let's have some fun._ ”

Peridot turned her head to Amethyst - she was… grinning?!

“Mmm… fuck yeah, Donut PC, let's do it…”

As the long, metal tentacles shot towards her, Peridot couldn't help but think Amethyst might have planned this. But then the pleasure started, and she no longer cared…

And for the next few centuries, Amethyst and Peridot found themselves willingly trapped in the Sadie AI’s sex chambers.


	54. More Than Words

**More Than Words**

Sunstone looked at Rainbow Quartz 2.0. He was so well-written, she thought, his words so lovely on the page that made up his universe. Sunstone, of course, had gained a higher sense of reality - she wanted to share that with that sexy piece of prose.

She began to write, and in doing so shape his world.

Rainbow didn't know why, but suddenly he was walking to a door that wasn't there before - except he wasn't. Words described him doing that, but he wasn't; he wasn't doing anything, because he was text. The internal dialogue made him decidedly wet.

Still, he stepped through the door. His perception changed - he could see not people but text; Connie’s beautiful prose, Peridot’s technical dialogue, Amethyst’s rough stream of consciousness - yet he had a body now. A real, corporeal form… a real, corporeal dick.

Sunstone stood before him, she too naked. She smiled and threw him a small rubber object.

“ALWAYS REMEMBER,” she said, “TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX.”

They promptly did, and the world of Beach City suddenly was stained with their juices.

A level below, Connie suddenly felt decidedly hot under the collar...


	55. Nude Beach

When Nanefua announced that Beach City would now offer a nude beach, Jenny was the first one to strip.

 

However, she wasn’t the first one onto the beach.

 

“Well helloooo,” Sardonyx greeted the naked woman, giving her at least two pairs of bedroom eyes. “Fancy seeing you around here...Jenny, was it?”

 

“Uh, yeah…” Jenny looked up and saw a massive wet spot appearing around Sardonyx’s crotch.

 

“Oh pardon me, I’m just so  _ aroused  _ right now. Must be the sexy human standing before me.”

 

Jenny blushed. “Is there, uh, anything I can do about that?”

 

Sardonyx phased away her clothes, revealing a pulsating, juicy vagina, ready for the taking. “If you’re up to it!”

 

Jenny was  _ definitely  _ up to it. Oh god was she up to it...


	56. Twin Sadies

Sadie opened her...their...eyes, feeling weird that morning.

 

She...they...felt heavier than usual, or at least their upper body was. Wait, they? As in, plural? There was...only one Sadie, Sadie thought.

 

Except… 

 

Sadie turned her head and saw herself. An identical twin of herself, extending down to their torso, where the two bodies met into one. And they shared one mind.

 

God, how the Sadies blushed at each other.

 

“So…”

 

“How’s it going?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“I can read your thoughts, you know.”

 

“I can hear your mind.”

 

“That’s what I just…”

 

“...said.”

 

The two giggled. Left Sadie felt her eyes drift down to Right Sadie’s breasts, poking through her  _ tight _ bra. She always found herself attractive, but now that she was two people? It turned her on  _ so much. _ And Right Sadie agreed.

 

Was it bad to make out with yourself? Or strip yourself down? Or finger yourself until you both moan with pleasure?

 

Sadie didn’t care either way.


	57. The Emoji Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you get challenged to make a kink fic about discord emotes

**The Emoji Drabble**

:lennypearl: gazed saucily at :meansbismuth:, the emoji’s eyes hungrily gazing into the purple character’s own. Slowly, with the janky motion of a gif, she licked her lips.

“You're looking very nice today, Bismuth,” said :lennypearl:, “Such lovely eyes.”

“All the better for staring at you with, Pearl,” :meansbismuth: replied suavely.

The two emojis crossed the screen until they were next to each other - :meansbismuth: leaned over the edge of her frame, planting a kiss on :lennypearl:’s cheek. The eggplant emoji appeared under her - and a hand appeared under :lennypearl:.

“Let's do it,” said :meansbismuth:.

“Yes,” replied :lennypearl:, “Let’s spice up this convo.”

Outside the computer, E350 gazed somewhat worriedly at the bottle of coke on his desk. Ever so slowly, he turned it and checked the ingredients.


	58. The Sadie Apocalypse

The deed was done.

 

Everyone was Sadie.

 

Every _ thing  _ was Sadie.

 

Nothing was not Sadie.

 

The world scrambled to figure out what had happened, how they could go on, now that they were Sadies.

 

Then Sadie Prime spoke forth, and commanded them to be happy with being Sadie. And they all complied. They enjoyed being Sadie, they realized. Too much.

 

The world ground to a halt, all governments, all economies, and infrastructure collapsed in favor of Sadie. Religions were rewritten to be about Sadie. Cults of Sadie sprung up.

 

Then one day, the Day of Sadie came, and their Queen Goddess Empress of Sadiedom came forth, and commanded them to  _ truly  _ enjoy being Sadie.

 

Which involved sex.

 

A lot of sex.

 

A worldwide orgy of Sadie sex.

 

And Sadie was happy.


	59. Metalworks

**Metalworks**

Peridot very rarely got to be dominant, so she reveled in the occasions when she could. Today was one of those days.

See, what she and Sadie hadn't expected when they invited Lars in was that he'd have a piercing in a very… _interesting_ place. But he did, and Peridot could manipulate it, and that turned into an idea.

They'd found some old handcuffs in Amethyst’s room, taking away the chains and placing the shackles around Lars’ and Sadie’s limbs. Metal rings for their fingers were also found. The result was a pair of human puppets, jerking around (and off) for Peridot’s amusement.

Sadie and Lars now floated in the air, Lars pulled forward by his own dick into Sadie’s sex as his arms (somewhat awkwardly) rubbed her breasts. Below them, Peridot held out one arm to control them - the other was two fingers deep in her green crotch, exploring her most intimate area. It was wonderful.

As Lars moaned, spraying his package into Sadie, Peridot wondered if there'd ever be metal enhancements for the human brain. One day, she supposed, one day.


	60. A Workable Compromise

**A Workable Compromise**

Rose had had a good idea. See, Pearl loved her - Greg loved her - so why not give them a place they could both have her?

So she took them to the room, and asked it to split herself into two bodies, each equally Rose. It did so, and thus they began to have sex. Yet Rose could still sense tension - the two still seemed to share a lingering resentment.

This would not do, Rose thought. It was time for drastic action.

She spoke the admin override password for the room and shut off the safety protocols as her two partners gazed on in confusion - little knowing that Rose could now alter _them_. She smiled at them, and clicked her fingers.

Peareg blinked again, wondering what they had been doing. They shrugged, glancing back at the love of their life, their cock rock hard. They exchanged smiles and went right back to work - and it was perhaps the most vigorous lovemaking they had ever made.

Later that night, as Pearl and Greg left the room (none the wiser for their brief fusion), Rose watched the recording, masturbating at the blow-by-blow (pun intended) account of their coitus.

She would have to do it again some time, she thought.


	61. Possession is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

“Well hello there,  _ Amethyst,”  _ Peridot chuckled.

 

“Hehe, oh hi,  _ Peridot,”  _ Amethyst chuckled in return.

 

“Fancy seeing you in  _ Steven’s _ bed of all places,” Peridot said as she slowly peeled off her uniform, revealing her small, green breasts. She mentally picked up a dildo (which had some metal on the inside, thankfully), floating it through the air and grazing it against Amethyst’s bulge.

 

“Oh...oh Con… I mean, Per…” Amethyst shuddered, almost breaking character.

 

You see, these may have been Amethyst and Peridot’s bodies, but inside them were Steven and Connie, home from college and with Stevonnie’s possession powers at their disposal. And they had always wanted to roleplay as another couple…

 

PeriConnie undid AmeSteven’s pants, the massive purple dick rising to attention. “Want me to, uh, make it bigger?” AmeSteven asked, blushing.

 

“Fuck yeah,” PeriConnie said, shoving it down her throat as it got bigger and bigger.

 

Amethyst and Peridot were going to be sore tomorrow, that was for sure.


	62. And The Joker Got Away

**And The Joker Got Away**

BatPeri glared at SuperAme as the woman, her spandex outfit hugging her round yet toned body, lifted her into the air. Underneath, a very confused Lapenguin watched them go, bags of stolen money under her arms.

“SuperAme, you let her get away!” exclaimed BatPeri, “I-”

“Commissioner Greg will handle it,” said SuperAme, “I wanted to show you something. I stole it from Lars Luthor.”

She pulled out a small yellow device - it looked almost like a…

“A vibrator? You did all this for a vibrator?” spluttered BatPeri.

“It's the Satisfaction And Desire Incubation Engine,” said SuperAme, “And its the best fuckin’ vibrator in the galaxy. I wanted you to try it.”

BatPeri blinked.

“Okay.”

And without further ado, it went right into her Batcave.


	63. God Greg

Who’d have thought that a 22-year-old college dropout would suddenly become a God?

 

No one, including Greg himself. Not that he was complaining…

 

He erased that pesky Pearl from existence (oh, she seemed to like that), along with Marty, his parents, that guy who looked at him funny in the checkout line, and so on.

 

What was left was a small group of people who he could have  _ fun  _ with. God-level fun. There was Rose, of course, followed by the young men of Beach City (Fryman, Pizza, Smiley...all total hunks). Also Vidalia and Amethyst, though they just wanted to watch (and maybe fuck each other, Greg mused).

 

With the snap of his fingers, everything that wasn’t Beach City was blinked out of view, as he commanded his squad to go down on him like no one had done before. Greg froze the passage of time around them, so they could go on as long as they wanted.

 

Which was a  _ while.  _ A good long while of nothing but men and women fucking Greg and him fucking them.

 

It was good to be a God.


	64. Forever Jenny

Of all the forms she had taken over the years, Amethyst enjoyed this one the most.

 

A slim bod, a nice rack, killer thighs, and a wardrobe that could not be beat.

 

She looked just like Jenny Pizza, and that was the way she liked it. Jenny liked it too, sometimes asking her to fill in at Fish Stew. She should have told her that it didn’t mean free pizza, but Nanefua didn’t mind.

 

Then she and Jenny had an idea. Since they were both in an open relationship with Sadie, they could easily talk her into a Double Jenny threesome.

 

And god, was Sadie into it. 

 

Purple Jenny was fucking Normal Jenny, Sadie was riding Purple Jenny while Normal Jenny fingered herself, and so on in so many combinations until they were all exhausted.

 

“You know,” Amethyst smirked, feeling up her (or rather, Jenny’s) breasts, “I could do this  _ permanently _ .”

 

“You wanna be me permenantly?” Jenny asked. “Damn, Amethyst, you’re something else.”

 

“Thanks...but the name’s Jenny.”


	65. The Use and Abuse of Time Travel

**The Use and Abuse of Time Travel**

Past Lapis moaned as Stevonnie slid gently into her, gazing into her deep blue eyes. Behind them, Future Lapis sent her water tentacles into both of their rear ends, while gently entangling them together.

They had gone back, far back, to before Lapis had been put in the mirror - when she was happier, more naive and just a little more open. It had taken some convincing, but she'd agreed to join their little experiment - it helped that they seemed smitten with Vonnie on sight.

They had a special comms unit connecting them to Peridot in the present, but after a series of moans, the green gem’s voice had faded away. Had the future been overwritten? Had they slipped into a parallel timeline? Had the battery ran out? They couldn't say - it was something to be worked out when they were done.

Stevonnie closed their eyes as they orgasmed, the same gem that they lived on either side of them. They knew they'd have to do it again.


	66. Ludicrous Speed

**Ludicrous Speed**

Every spaceship contains safeties to be activated when at warp. When these are deactivated, things can get strange.

Lars sat in his chair, soft and pliable - so much so that Buck and Sour Cream could simply swirl his legs like putty, turning them into two extended dicks. Both went into their mouths, going deeper than should have been possible if the laws of physics weren't out of office.

There was a bump, and all three rippled. Buck, sitting on his chair, moaned as Lars and Sour Cream sucked — bump! — Sour Cream’s head rolled back against the seat cushion as Buck and Lars licked—

Bump. Sour Bulars clutched his three foot cock, rubbing it violently - pink liquid, glowing in the darkness, sprayed out, and in each drop Sour Bulars could see an entire universe spin—

Bump. The magazine displayed the character's Buck and Sour Cream from the _Sadie Killer_ anime, and Lars pleasured himself at the inked pictures in front of—

Bump. They were goop, writhing and swirling together on the floor in pure ecstasy, any thought of humanity banished - what even was a solid? They couldn't say—

Bump. They were nothing. Bump. They were everything. Bump. They were all Padparadscha. Bump. Bump. Bump.

The ship dropped out of warp as each of them came.

The bridge was deserted. But in the space between spaces, the vaguely defined concepts of Buck, Sour Cream and Lars orgasmed for all of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, the x-rated cut of spaceballs is very different indeed


	67. The Concept of Sadie

Sadie stood in a large, white room, filled with glass spheres. They all had a label, indicating them to be concepts. Like, the concept of gravity or the concept of people.

 

Sadie had been having fun with the Concepts of Peridot and Amethyst — okay, fine, she was grinding them against her crotch — when she got the urge to go  _ bigger. _

 

She took the concept of gravity and stuck it between her boobs, making gravity fluctuate wildly, even in the omnipotent room.

 

She then took the concept of light, and sat on it, dimming the universe itself with her ass.

 

Finally, she took the concept of existence, and smashed it to pieces. For some reason, the destruction of reality really turned her on.

 

As the realms of the multiverse collapsed into nothingness, Sadie fingered herself rigorously, aroused by the erasure of everything and anything. As she orgasmed, the folding dimensions fell in on her, deleting Sadie at the peak of her climax.

 

She was happy with that.


	68. Alone

Pearl and Bismuth were alone.

 

Which was just the way they liked it. The couple made out in the Burning Room, exploring their nude bodies.

 

Then Pearl pulled a purple dildo out of her head, with a familiar gem at its base. She also pulled out a green fleshlight, a set of red and blue handcuffs, and a bottle of blue lube.

 

Before Pearl could even explain, Bismuth was kissing her in fervorous passion. She grabbed the dildo and sat on it, shoving its length up her blue-grey ass.

 

Pearl, with a sly smile, took the fleshlight and the lube ( _ my my, these two work well together,  _ Pearl mused) and slid it onto Bismuth’s growing member, moving it up and down.

 

Finally, she handcuffed Bismuth to the floor, granting her full control over the woman she so loved.

 

She was glad she had so much help.


	69. Rebel Rebel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a change of pace to celebrate our sixty-ninth chapter - a guest story from a very, very good friend of the authors, [realfakedoors](https://archiveofourown.org/users/realfakedoors/pseuds/realfakedoors), legendary defender! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> I came up with the title myself so sorry if it's a bit bung.

**Rebel Rebel**

Sunday nights were the worst.

Not only was there school the next day, but every Sunday, her Mom insisted on a _big family dinner_. It’s not like Lapis disliked spending time with her family, it was just, she felt so _guilty_. Her Mom would glow with pride when she talked to her sisters, Lapis’ aunts, about how she was an excellent student, a role model, a rare gem amongst a sea of stones.

Just thinking about it now made her stomach clench with shame. So that’s why, on this particular Sunday, she was going to put her foot down. 

No more of this sneaking around—it was driving her insane, she never should have allowed this to _start_ in the first place, and now—  

Lapis flinched when a rock loudly smacked against her window, almost dropping her phone as she lay in bed. 

This. This is why Sunday nights were the worst.

Even if it would have been easier not to, to just ignore it or close her curtains, Lapis got up and smoothed out the bottom of her flowing nightgown before unshuttering the latch of the window.

“Hey there,” a voice said in smooth, quiet greeting.

“Hi,” she greeted curtly, standing back—she shouldn’t, she should just close the window—but in seconds, the same sight she saw every Sunday was replaying. 

Pearl, hair mussed, face flushed from the climb, leather jacket decorated with a twig and stray leaf here or there, standing in her bedroom.

“You’re always so cute in that nightgown,” Pearl hummed, moving right into her personal space, not bothering to slow when Lapis took a few retreating steps.

 _The worst_ , Lapis swore, her throat parched.

“P-Pearl, I want to talk.”

With a smirk that was _much_ too smug and too sexy, Pearl leaned down until their noses touched.

“Sure. I’d can listen to that pretty mouth of yours all night _._ ”

Unable to help it, Lapis flustered, tearing her eyes away from the knowing glint in Pearl’s own, finding a spot on the pale blue carpet to fixate on instead.

“W-We need to… s-stop.” Lapis whispered, voice utterly lacking in conviction. A hand was threading through her hair while she spoke, and Lapis shivered at the touch, turned away more.

That only exposed her neck to Pearl, however, who took it as an invitation to start placing hot, open mouthed kisses against the skin there.

“P-Pearl I-I mean it. After last time, m-my parents—”

The heat was already becoming too much, making Lapis lose her train of thought. She hated how good the way Pearl’s jacket smelled, leather and smoke and it was pressed up against her at every point it could.

A quick bite over her pulse, and Lapis let out a broken gasp. “What about them?”

“They—we _can’t_ —they almost _caught you_.”

“And?” Pearl asked, lips trailing up the side of Lapis’ neck, lining her jaw. “Aww, are you worried they’ll realize how much of a needy little slut you are? What would they think about their _perfect little Lapis_ , legs spread for—”

 _So unfair_ , Lapis thought as a moan slipped out of her. The degrading words were like sinful music to her ears; it didn’t even matter if they weren’t true. She wasn’t a slut. She was a virgin before Pearl started showing up… but Pearl just had this effect on her. Made her feel dirty, in the best and worst kind of way.

She hated that Pearl knew how to use that, how to get under her clothes and her skin both.

Pearl’s hands had moved, danced down Lapis’s sides and were holding her hips in place, grip almost bruising. With everything she had, Lapis tried to find the will to stop.

_But god if she didn’t want to stop._

Something broke, then, and Lapis was kissing Pearl, panting in the small breaths when they separated for air. A moan became a keen when Pearl backed her up into the bed, pushing her down with an almost lazy shove. Lapis felt her hips leave the bed with a bounce as she landed, face hot and breathing heavy as Pearl stood over her at the end of the bed. She was taking off her leather jacket, revealing a fitting tank underneath, hugging the slim shape of her body.

Embarrassed, Lapis started to rub her thighs together, seeking some small relief from the stickiness beginning to gather.

“You’re so pretty, Lapis,” Pearl said, voice gentler than before. A hand traveled up her calf, smooth and easy as it rucked up the bottom of her nightgown, shameless in their intentional touch.

“P-Pearl, please…” she whimpered when the girl hooked a finger around her panties and tugged, not removing them, just toying with the fabric enough to drive her a little more desperate.

A slow sigh came from Pearl as she let her fingers ghost over the flesh of Lapis’s stomach, the touch like fire wherever it pressed into her skin.

“I don’t know…” she mused, more to herself than Lapis. “You were just telling me you wanted us to stop doing this… Maybe I should just go.”

A whine fell from Lapis lips when her hands moved away, and Pearl smiled fondly. “Or maybe I should stay?”

Jerkily, Lapis nodded, chest rising and falling rapidly, face hot with shame.

“I’d like to hear your words, Little Miss Perfect. Tell me to stay.”

“My parents… My parents can never find out,” she panted. “But… p-please, _stay_.”

In reward, Pearl pushed her thighs apart, but stopped once again. “What else?”

“U-Um…” Lapis tried to rack her brain for something, trying to come up with all the horrible, wonderful things Pearl had done to her in this bed, in this position, but her want was muddying her ability to think clearly. “I—can’t think… of—”

“How about this,” Pearl cooed, lowering her posture and placing small kisses into Lapis’s thighs. The girl keened around her, legs tensing with the effort not to twitch and move. “I’ll tell you what I want to hear. If you can be a good girl for me, I’ll touch you anywhere you like for as long as you like.”

Errantly, a part of Lapis recalled that she didn’t want this, that she was supposed to send Pearl away. Her body have a different plan, spreading and flexing to accommodate her, scooting back on the bed so Pearl could crawl in and join her.

Barely able to keep her breath steady, Lapis managed a weak, “Y-Yes. Okay. Anything you want.”

“You’re so good, always listen so well,” Pearl complimented, finally peeling Lapis’ panties away, the honeyed sent of her own arousal almost painfully apparent the moment her cunt met the open air. The cotton fabric clung to her thighs with a wet _schlep_ as Pearl guided them off her legs. “And so wet already. Such a good girl.”

“T-Thank you,” Lapis gasped, not really sure if that was something to take as a compliment but her mind was far gone at this point. “Just— _want you_ —” 

“That’s a nice start,” Pearl said, “but what I’d really like to hear is you beg for me.”

Lapis flushed, eyes fluttering open as she stared at the ceiling above her bed, the lights dim and air warm.

_Don’t. Don’t beg. You’re better than this! What would your Mom think? God, you didn’t even remember to **lock the door** , what if someone walks in?_

“P-Please,” she mumbled, ignoring the stubborn voice of reason. “Please, Pearl? Want you to… um… make me feel good.”

“How about we see if you can come for me while I eat out your pretty little pussy. Would you like that?”

This time, her voice did not waver, but had fallen under some degree of sinuous pleasure that Lapis couldn’t even bother with shame. “Yes, please.”

“Hmm.”

“ _Oh—”_

Pearl finally stopping kissing and rubbing her thighs, hips, and almost with a sense of urgency, she moved forward. With a wet, absolutely filthy _slurping_ sound, she began to suck on Lapis’ clit, rolling the sensitive flesh with her tongue, moaning obscenely the moment Lapis wrapped her thighs around Pearl’s head.

Lapis arched off the bed, almost sobbing in the sudden rush of sensation, the overwhelming feeling of _wrong_ and _pleasure_ and _heat_ all swirling together sending sparkles to her fingertips and causing her to gasp.

“ _Yes—_ oh, god, yes, please—” Lapis ground her hips down harder, not minding her volume, not minding her _self_ for that matter. This was _Pearl_ , awful, bad, sinful Pearl, and she was fucking Lapis with her tongue ruthlessly, and Lapis wanted to hate it so _badly_ but all she could do was yield, spread her legs wider, let out breathless gasps in the shape of Pearl’s name.

“Let me taste you, really taste you.” Pearl commanded, and Lapis shuddered at the abject debauchery of such a thing, her body thrilled by the suggestion. Her stomach was clenching in the obscene pleasure, the heat, the wetness and dripping feeling of spit and her own fluids running down her thighs, staining her nightgown where it was still trapped beneath her lower back.

Shimmering tension yanked at her chest, pulling her up, up, _up_ , mind whiting out, a crest of heat rushing down her skin just as she started to come, and Pearl greedily drank it all down, slurped her sensitive walls senseless and burrowed her tongue between her sticky folds, determined to capture every last drop. Lapis was nearly crying at the sensitivity, Pearl’s mouth lacking any gentle finesse as she ravaged Lapis’s clenching, flexing walls, wringing every tiny twitch of orgasm from her thighs.

And the real reason she hated Sunday nights—they were only just getting started.


	70. Dude, You're In Public

**Dude, You're In Public**

“Seriously, right on the boardwalk?”

Mr. Fryman sighed as Pearl and Bismuth had vigorous sex outside Beach Citywalk Fries, moaning and crying out loudly as they rolled around on the wood. Their lubed bodies glistened in the sunlight, and normally it might have been a pleasant sight. Just not today.

“Come on, guys, I'm trying to eat my lunch,” said Mr. Fryman, holding up the cheese and tomato sandwich, “ Can you take it to-”

“ _Oh, Bismuth!_ ” screamed Pearl. “ _It's coming! It's coming! It -_ **_AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, YES!!!_** ”

Fryman stared blandly as Pearl and Bismuth orgasmed, fluids spraying all over the place - including onto his sandwich. He looked at the now soaked bread, thought about the new Public Intimacy Act, and sighed.

Once again, the local government had let him down.

  



	71. Pearlification

Deep down, everyone wanted to be a Pearl. To be controllable and submissive, yet secretly bold and daring was a fantasy found in many Gems.

 

And it turned out most of them were Crystal Gems. 

 

Bismuth, Garnet, Amethyst, Lapis and Peri all went to Pearl with their request. To be transformed into Pearls. Forever.

 

And god, did that turn Pearl on.

 

Luckily for her, the process for Pearlification was indeed sexual. The five gems were strapped onto platforms, eager to make the transformation.

 

“Ready?”

 

Several excited nods later, the gems’ forms were phased off as four other Pearls — Blue, Yellow, Pink and Rhodonite’s — stepped into the room.

 

“Pearls,” Pearl commanded, hopping onto Bismuth’s glistening body, “Let’s get to work.”

 

The “procedure,” lasted an hour. An hour of pure unadulterated pleasure, as the Pearls’ essences were transferred into the Crystal Gems. Their eyes glazed over, big smiles forming across their faces.

 

After the five Pearls collectively orgasmed, the procedure was complete. They were in control now.

 

“That was lovely, My Pearl,” Amethyst stated.

 

“I would like another round, My Pearl,” added Peridot.

 

“As would I,” said Lapis.

 

“It is what we desire,” Garnet nodded.

 

“Well Pearls,” Pearl smirked. “Let’s give  _ our _ Pearls what they want.”


	72. Domination

**Domination**

When Peridot had been told they be doing ‘Domination’ she'd thought that meant video games. Instead, she was tied to the ground by watery tentacles, Amethyst kneeling over her with a gigantic purple cock. Just her luck, really.

Any protests were cut off as the massive organ dropped into her mouth, while over her crotch she felt Lapis’s fingers playing with her sex. It would only happen to Peridot.

She felt a slight jolt as a tentacle slithered up her butt, and then Lapis’ fingers went in the other end. She heard Amethyst chuckle - “This sex toy ain't half bad! What do you call it!” Stars, why her?

Lapis grinned. “The company called it Peridot, but I just call it Fucktoy.”

Peridot closed her eyes, a muffled sigh running through her as her lovers spoke of her like she was an object. She had no power or agency, she was entirely dominated, entirely helpless.

Fuck, she loved her life.


	73. House Calls

**House** **Calls**

To Do List for Peridot - Log Date 8-32-1

  * Warp to Homeworld (REMEMBER SHOPPING LIST - AMETHYST WANTS NEW TOYS!!!)
  * Visit Topaz AV3 in Barracks Quarter, go to Barracks 732 for fortnightly group coitus session with 55 Heavy Battalion. Remember to bring Body Swap Wand - my turn to be a Topaz.
  * Move over to Yellow Pearl’s new lodgings and help break in new bed. (Remember to swap back to original body first - do not make that cloddish mistake again.)
  * Help Blue Diamond with spelunking, specifically in her pleasure hole. Bring lubricant.
  * Get photos of Parliament Building for Sadie.
  * Have rigorous sex with Aquamarine VB5 (my turn with wand!)
  * Pick up mail.
  * Warp home for dinner and lovemaking with Amethyst, then watch new CPH.



Note: Do not forget sexual pleasure equipment.

Second Note: Or camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She gets around.


	74. Fun with the Band

Stevonnie had a special gift for Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Lapis and Kiki in tow, they knew when they dropped the box off in Sadie’s dressing room that the whole band would love it.

 

In less than an hour, Sadie was the size of a figurine, Buck and Sour Cream were merged together and Jenny was a mannequin. And boy, did they love it.

 

So did Stevonnie and her two lovers, who marched in on the band, smirking with lewd satisfaction. Stevonnie planted a big, sloppy kiss on tiny Sadie’s head. Kiki mounted BuckCream and made out with them. Lapis whipped out her tentacles and pleasured Jenny the Mannequin, knowing how damn good it felt.

 

Then, the device that had triggered all of this stopped time itself, so the group could continue unabated.

 

For as long as they wanted.


	75. Push It To The Limit

**Push It To The Limit**

Having a nigh-immortal boyfriend certainly had its upsides, especially if you were creative.

Lars didn't need to breathe - so one option they'd tried was underwater sex. Sadie wore a diving suit and oxygen mask, and Lars fondled her rubber-clad body in all the right places, kissing her everywhere he could as he drove her to a deep-sea orgasm.

Lars didn't react to cold and heat in the same way most humans did, so with Garnet’s permission he jumped into the lava in the Burning Room and did a striptease, Sadie watching with considerable interest nearby.

This carried on in a number of creative ways. Sadie held Lars’ head into her cleavage for a full hour. Lars filmed her an enticing video on the surface of the moon. They took BDSM past limits that would have killed a regular human. If they could think of it, they did it.

And they were both pretty imaginative...


	76. Hypnodot

“Do you want some of this?” Amethyst asked Peri, gesturing to her bulging crotch.

 

The green gem nodded fervorously, completely under Amethyst’s control.

 

“You wanna get fucked, don’t ya?”

 

More nodding.

 

“And you’ll do  _ whatever I want?” _

 

The space between Peridot’s legs was wetter than an ocean now. She desperately wanted to please her master. Her Amethyst.

 

“Alright, Per,” Amethyst said, phasing away her clothes and revealing her member. “Bend over.”

 

She didn’t even tell Peri to phase her uniform away. She just dug in, forcing her cock through the fabric itself, in between Peri’s ass cheeks.

 

“Yes, yes, fuck me, my Amethyst!”

 

“Now there’s a good girl...mmmm...love you Peri.”

 

“I love you...unnf...as well!”

 

After it was over, Peridot was snapped out of her hypnosis — she loved it — and she suggested Amethyst give it a try.

 

That night, it was Amethyst who got fucked.

 

She would do anything for her Peridot, after all.


	77. SymbioLapis

Stevonnie felt a voice calling out to them in their sleep. A sultry, seductive voice, telling them that it was okay, no need to wake up. Everything was going to be fine. Better, even. Better than it had ever been before.

 

Stevonnie woke up upside down, in a slick, dark-blue suit, overlooking Empire City. They felt so...so  _ powerful. _ No more aches or pains, no more struggles; they felt  _ unstoppable. _

 

“Do you like it?” the voice from before asked.

 

“Fuck yeah…” Stevonnie said, overcome with uninhibited desires. They could do anything they wanted, with this strange new suit. It felt like it was  _ breathing,  _ too. In and out, in and out, in perfect sync with their own body.

 

“Do you like...this?” the voice asked as the suit tightened, particularly around Stevonnie’s breasts and crotch. 

 

“Ohhh….ohhh yes.”

 

Their mind was now a blur, the voice so alluring, so captivating. Stevonnie collapsed onto the rooftop, in total euphoria as they felt the suit — almost like a liquid — moving all over them. Whatever the suit wanted, they wanted. It was almost… symbiotic.

 

“Now just relax…” the voice said, letting Stevonnie slip into a state of total submission. “And let Lapis take care of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very special kink of mine, okay


	78. Crowd

**Crowd**

Having an orgy where you have sex with all your friends is pretty okay.

Cloning yourself and having sex with all of them at the same time is even _more_ okay.

The cloning pods had worked wonders - everyone had one Peridot each, and all were mentally connected to the master Peridot. What this essentially meant was that as Peridot sucked on Bismuth’s cock, she could also make out with Ruby and Sapphire on two different beds, eat out Pearl in the closet, receive Amethyst up the hind quarters in the shower, get tentacle fucked by Lapis in the bath and have Jasper eat herself out on the couch. And all of it was felt and experienced by the same central consciousness.

That would have been enough, but there was enough of her left over to attend Sadie’s post concert party (once for each member of the band); to visit the Diamonds’ pearls for some intimate time; to have some fun with the Ruby Squad; and of course, to have her own heavily attended Peridorgy at the barn.

And there was one left over to sit in the corner and read kinky fanfiction.

You couldn't leave that out, after all.


	79. Medieval AU

“So you want a spell that makes one of you really big for a bit?” Peridot the sorcerer asked as two villagers — Lapis and Stevonnie — stood over her cauldron.

 

“Uh, yeah…” Lapis trailed off. “Is that too complicated? We can go if it’s too complicated.”

 

“Oh no, not at all,” Peridot said as she poured some potions into the cauldron. “If I may ask, what are you gonna use it for? Fighting a giant? Climbing the tallest mountain?”

 

The two looked at each other and blushed. “Something...a little unusual,” Stevonnie answered, something already stirring in their loins from just talking about it.

 

“Oh…  _ Ohhh,”  _ Peridot chuckled. She finished the potion and handed it to the couple. “I see what’s happening here. Have fun, you two.”

 

Peridot winked, making Lapis and Stevonnie blush even harder than before as they left the shop. Peridot shook her head. 

 

“Crazy kids.”

 

Just as she was about to close up for the night, the door opened again. It was  _ her. _

 

“Heyo,” Amethyst said, leaning on the counter. “Any new spells these days, my fair maiden?”

 

“Well,” Peridot smirked, “There is one that I just whipped up… I think you’ll like it.”

 

Amethyst didn’t know what kind of sorcerer she was dealing with.


	80. The Stranger

**The Stranger**

One night in Pittsburgh, Greg had sex with a handsome, bearded stranger - the best he'd ever had. He knew just what to say and just what to do, and his technique was fantastic. He left the next morning before Greg awoke, leaving nothing but stained sheets on the van bed and a note that read; “See you in twenty years!”

For years and years, Greg wondered who that had been. He could never find him; he didn't even know his name. In time he met Rose, he had Steven, he grew older and bearded.

One day, Amethyst appeared with a small device that looked like a tape recorder. “Dude!” she said. “It takes you back in time! You can't change anything, but you can still have tons of fun…”

It suddenly struck Greg what had happened.

He went with Amethyst back to the early nineties, to Pittsburgh, and while she hit up the clubs, he went to an empty concert hall he'd seen years ago, and walked right up to the handsome young man.

It certainly brought exciting new meaning to the term ‘go fuck yourself.”


	81. Symbiosis on Public Transport

**Symbiosis on Public Transport**

Stevonnie sat on the subway, Lapis hidden safely under their clothes, as it clattered along the road. Across from them was their neighbour, Peridot, reading a newspaper.

“Stevonnie,” Lapis hissed, “Let's have some fun.”

Stevonnie shuddered as the symbiote massaged their crotch, swirled around their breasts, entered their butt. They closed their eyes and breathed deeply.

“W-w-we’re in public.”

“We’ll absorb any witnesses.”

“That's kind of illegal, babe.”

Lapis didn't reply, slithering further into their orifices. They felt something leak and blushed - they couldn't deny it felt divine, and there was a thrill about doing it out here.

A bit of cum squirted from their dick, and they yelped. They looked up, noticing Peridot staring at them.

“Uh, just a bump,” they said, “D-didn't expect…”

They trailed off as Peridot smiled, adjusting her glasses. She pulled back her sleeve, revealing a swirling purple mass underneath - she winked.

“I like them,” said Lapis.

Stevonnie pursed their lips, blushing, and stared intently up at the subway map. Yet they couldn't help but grin.


	82. Layers

“Pearl?” Connie asked one day. “Have you ever felt like, something was off? About the world?”

 

“How so?”

 

“Like, for some reason it feels like everything’s fake…”

 

Interrupting their conversation was the sound of Steven falling out of the sky. He was 22 now, big and muscular, which meant he had left a large hole in the roof.

 

“Steven!” Pearl scolded. “What have I told you about falling through the roof?”

 

“Sorry, Pearl-inside-Pearl’s-Pearl, but I gotta get Connie out of here.”

 

“Excuse me,  _ what?” _

 

“This is all inside Pearl’s gem! Connie came to get something and got stuck. Sorry, but we kinda need her.”

 

“Uh, bye!” Connie waved as she and Steven disappeared in a flash of light.

 

This left Pearl all alone in the house. Which wasn’t really the house. She was just a abstract representation of the concept of thoughts and the compartmentalizing thereof. Which, admittedly, was a bit of a turn on.

 

She sat down on the couch and phased away her clothes. If Top-Layer Pearl was going to interfere with her life, then she was going to have some  _ fun.  _ She began fingering herself, intensely going at it with such force that the layer itself began to vibrate.

 

A few minutes later, it had completely shattered, landing her in the same room as Surface Pearl. “Oh, hello!” Surface Pearl greeted. “My, my, what a mess! You’re going to need help with that.” Surface Pearl began eating Pearl out, licking her sex clean.

 

Then that layer shattered, leaving them with Past Pearl. She joined in, thrusting into Pearl’s ass with a sultry grin.

 

Then that layer shattered too, leaving them with Pink Diamond’s Pearl. Then it became an all-out orgy, as memories were rewritten across Pearl’s mind to take on a slightly more  _ kinky  _ tone.

 

In the real world, Pearl felt herself get hot and heavy. She excused herself to her room, where she projected the goings-on inside her gem onto a wall.

 

And she enjoyed it.


	83. A Dominant Universe

Peridot made a mistake.

 

She was supposed to make herself the most dominant sexual being in the Universe...but she forgot to carry the one and now  _ literally everyone else  _ was the most dominant being. And the worst part was, she was  _ into it. _

 

“Oh hey there, ‘Dot,” Amethyst said at the door, an intense, sultry look in her eyes. “Wanna be my bitch and suck me off?”

 

Pearl pushed her aside. More bedroom eyes. “I bet you want to spread those lovely cheeks of yours for me, don’t you Peridot?”

 

Then came Bismuth.  _ (“So big…”  _ Peri thought) She stripped down and thrust the green gem to the floor, peppering her with wet smooches.

 

Peridot, now moaning in ecstasy, looked out the window and saw a crowd gathering outside. More and more people flooded into the house, all wanting a piece of that Peridot pie. And stars, Peridot  _ loved it. _

 

A constant stream of sexual partners, all ramming Peridot’s ass, or fingering her pussy, or jerking off in her face, or shoving their cock down her throat… It must have gone on for hours. Days, even.

 

And yet, Peridot didn’t want it to end. It wasn’t a mistake, she realized; it was a happy accident.


	84. Tag Team

**Tag Team**

“Amethyst.”

“Yes Peri?”

“Why do I suddenly have this organ?”

She was looking down at the large, throbbing purple penis poking out of the crotch of her green super suit.

“Heh, I just wanted to see if it’d work, dude,” Amethyst’s replied. “Besides, we’ve been fighting crime all day - doesn’t Triangle Girl get some me time?”

“It’s TechWhiz. You _know_ it’s…”

“Look, are you gonna jerk this thing, or am I gonna have to do it for you?”

Peridot watched the purple tendrils advancing up her arms and blushed. _Well_ , she thought, _this was a pretty secluded rooftop, and it was dark…_

“Fine, but if the Channel Six chopper turns up, we cease immediately,” said Peridot. “And… and you take control.”

“Gotcha, P-Dot. Get ready, because this is gonna _rock_.”

Peridot’s hands jerked downwards, clutching the dick and rubbing hurriedly back and forth. They groaned as one, both feeling the sudden wave of pleasure, their thoughts twirling together as they went faster and faster…

“Oh, this is so good, Perithyst!” one cried.

“I know Amedot!” the other replied. “Aaaaahhh, we gotta do this more often…”

The other agreed, a second penis flowing out next to the first for the other hand. They rolled around on the concrete rooftop, completely and utterly content.

  
_Three blocks away._

“Aw geez, Dr. Rick, what’s that s-superhero doin’ over there?”

“I don’t know, Morty Minion, I-I think… _whoa_ , okay, no *buuuurp* crimes tonight, Morty Minion, they’re having _me time_. And I do _not_ wanna interrupt a symbiote in _me time_.”


	85. Volunteers

The procedure only took a few minutes. The transformative ray blasted them with tons of intense magic. Connie’s nose changed shape as her body became thinner, taller and paler. Steven’s body got shorter, redder, more stocky. They both wanted this, ever since they learned it was possible when they were 18. Now, it was a reality.

 

Connie was now a Pearl, and Steven, a Ruby. When it was all over, they couldn’t help but blush at the sight of each other. Connie picked up Steven and planted a kiss on his lips.

 

“My little Ruby…”

 

“My Pearl…”

 

That night, they were left alone in the house, and RubySteven peppered ConniePearl with kisses. He kissed all over her skinny body, finally reaching those skintight shorts every Pearl seemed to cherish. He was beginning to learn why.

 

ConniePearl moaned with pleasure, reaching around and grabbing Steven’s bubbly Ruby ass. So round and cute; Sapphire was a lucky woman, she realized.

 

As they made out yet again, they both came to the same conclusion: They made the right decision.


	86. Pleasurably Consumed

**Pleasurably Consumed**

Bismuth hadn’t been to work in weeks. She hadn’t been to her apartment in even longer. She’d been gone for so long that the ECPD had just assumed her dead and moved on.

In fact, Bismuth had been out in the city, living in a private penthouse belonging to PearlCorp, living and breathing and wandering around as if everything was completely normal. She spoke to Yellow, Blue and Pink - occasionally she  _ fucked  _ with Yellow, Blue and Pink - and generally made herself at home.

Bismuth hadn’t actually done anything of her own free will in ages.

The symbiote, Pearl, had gleefully stripped all of her agency away, turning her into a puppet for her own devices. She said what Pearl wanted and did what Pearl wanted, because for all intents and purposes, she  _ was  _ Pearl - Pearl with a little voice in her head that whispered and moaned as she went about her day, so intertwined into the whole that she might as well have been a thought floating around Pearl’s head.

It may come as a surprise to find out that this had been their arrangement - there had been no tricks, no force, nothing. For Bismuth  _ wanted  _ to be dominated, and this arrangement was the most dominated she could possibly be.

As she lay in Pearl’s queen bed, Yellow and Blue wrapped around her mighty arms, all of them caked in sweat and the symbiote’s potent, intoxicating fluids, the part of Bismuth that remained Bismuth sighed in utter contentment. Every thought that ran through Pearl’s head excited her, and every movement was like purest ecstasy. It wasn’t hell, it was heaven.

She never, ever, ever wanted to be let go.


	87. The Power of Music

Amethyst knew that replacing Sadie Killer’s amp with a souped-up Gem “spacetime acoustic modifier” was a good idea. Especially because tonight’s songs were  _ especially  _ mesmerizing.

 

Sadie began singing, the band rocking out behind her. In the audience were the Crystal Gems, who began to feel...off. But in a good way, weirdly enough.

 

_ “Just take a load off…”  _ Sadie sang, the room vibrating as reality rippled in response. The Gems looked and saw that everyone’s clothes had vanished. Including theirs.

 

Pearl blushed deeply. “Amethyst!” she started to scold, before seeing Amethyst’s glistening purple body in the moonlight.

 

_ “And be with the one you lo-o-o-ove!”  _ Sadie sang once more, again causing a ripple in reality. Now everyone was suddenly kissing their partner. Amethyst and Peridot, Pearl and Bismuth, Ruby and Sapphire…

 

The guitar solo came in. Another ripple. People were now on the floor, making out and pressing their naked bodies against each other. The drum solo. The audience — including the Crystal Gems — were fucking intensely. The music stopped as the band suddenly stopped playing and made out with each other on stage. 

 

Sadie Killer and the Suspects was ground zero for the biggest orgy this side of music. And Amethyst couldn’t be more pleased with herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Psst... Titanic AU is posting again... Check it out...)


	88. One

**One**

The being that was currently deep inside of Sadie was beautiful.

They were both tall and plump, with two heads - one small and short haired, styled into a triangle that turned into a bob around the ears; the other wide and long haired, a visor covering their eyes - both were streaked pink, black, green and lilac. Their breasts were firm and round, and each of their six arms massaged one of Sadie’s sensitive spots. Their cock, thirteen inches from base to tip, was permanently firm, and somehow fit perfectly despite its mammoth size. She felt them squirt, her eyes rolling back.

Amervon Barrizza smiled as they watched their lover tire, pulling them into a tight hug that pushed her head into their breasts. They then lifted her to eye level.

“Again?” they asked in five voices.

“Amervon, we've been going for hours,” said Sadie wearily, despite the smile on her face.

“I know, but I never tire, babe,” replied Amervon.

“Yeah, it's awesome,” nodded Sadie. “But we can save that for next…”

“Actually…” Amervon pulled out a box. “I want to stay. Sadie Miller, will you—”

“Fuck yes I will! I… did you hide that up your butt?”

Amervon chuckled and shrugged.


	89. Assertive

**Assertive**

It had begun as a purely practical idea, to stop Steven from giving money to every single fundraiser he came across. He needed to stop letting them walk all over him, and Peridot’s hypno ray seemed just the ticket.

Except Connie couldn't help but see the… intimate possibilities of what she was doing.

“You will be more assertive,” she said.

“I will be more assertive,” Steven repeated blandly.

“You will… you will be a dom.” Connie bit her lip.

“I will be a dom,” said Steven.

“You will use your new dominance in sex with me as soon as I say ‘apple.”

She smiled as he repeated that.

“Apple.”

To her surprise, Steven did not immediately tackle her - instead, he grabbed the hypno ray and turned to the Temple door - Peridot was just emerging.

“Steven, what—” _Zap!_ “—is your bidding, master?”

“Gather the other gems,” barked Steven, “I want them here to pamper their diamonds. I'm reforming the Court.”

“Yes, My Diamond.”

Connie swallowed.

“Uh, Steven, I…”

She was cut off as Steven jumped her, and for the first time ever she found herself wrestling for dominance, for the right to ‘top’ - for it seemed Steven was now the ultimate dom.

Well, almost.

She still topped in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just making it clear, pamper does not mean sex.
> 
> Only Connie may have sex with the diamond.


	90. Let's Do The Time Warp, Yeah

Buck’s dad once told him, “If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the slightest thing…” after which he was cut off because Pearl was at the door. Henceforth, when Lars suggested using the Sun Incinerator to time warp during their little “alone time” excursions, Buck loved the idea.

 

“Banging you at the speed of light while going backwards through the spacetime continuum? I couldn’t say no to that,” Buck said, giving Lars’ ass a grab before heading aboard the ship.

 

Lars set the autopilot to hyperspeed, then slingshot around the sun, locking the ship into time warp. While they felt the flow of time reverse around the ship, Buck began sucking Lars off. 

 

“Oh… oh yeah…” he moaned, not foreseeing the side effects.

 

After the slingshot, time on board the ship began to slow. Just as Lars reached his climax, time stopped completely. And began to tick backwards.

 

“Yeah...oh… Oh…” Lars moaned.

 

Then the ship found itself locked in a loop, as it endlessly warped around the sun. Buck would free Lars’ long, pink member, wrap his tongue around it, bob up and down until Lars felt cum started to shoot out of it...and then the cum would flow back in, Buck would bob in reverse, unwrapping his tongue and finally secure the pink cock back into Lars’ pants. And then time would go forwards again.

 

The ship could sustain warp for nearly infinity.

 

So they would be doing this for a  _ long  _ time.


	91. Bodysuits

Sadie loved being Stevonnie. Ever since they and Lapis were transformed into bodysuits, she loved the feeling of slipping into the fusion’s skin, feeling that wave of love drift over her as the suit stretched over her body. Being Stevonnie filled her with confidence, with power… And it also felt hella sexy, too.

 

Amethyst and Peridot loved being Lapis. They couldn’t decide who would get to wear her bodysuit, so instead they decided that they would both become Lapis, stretching her skin around them in an  _ incredibly  _ pleasing manner. Being two people mashed into one person was amazing, arguably better than fusion, both of their minds melding together to control their new, blue body.

 

“Why hello,  _ Lapis,”  _ SadieVonnie winked, the fusion’s form fitting nicely over Sadie’s person. “You’re looking dashingly  _ sexy  _ today.”

 

“Hehe, hey  _ Von,  _ you’re a regular snack yourself,” AmeLapisDot remarked, pulling SadieVonnie into a kiss.

 

Soon, their clothes were on the ground. And even sooner, their genitals were meeting, in countless, intensifying thrusts. AmeLapisDot moaned with pleasure, SadieVonnie’s member so large, and so thick… As they came, the two beings felt their memories of being “Amethyst,” “Peridot,” or “Sadie” fade away as their minds became dedicated to being Lapis and Stevonnie.

 

“That was...awesome…” Stevonnie smirked, looking over at Lapis. Lapis had a wild look in her eye, summoning several watery tentacles.

 

“So that enough?” Lapis asked. “Or are you  _ thirsty  _ for more?”

 

Stevonnie bent over and let Lapis take them. 

 

Today was a good day to be Stevonnie.


	92. Colourful

**Colourful**

“Hey Paddy, wanna fuck?”

Sadie didn't wait for a reply, striding confidently into the Rutile Twins’ quarters, naked as the day she was born. Both blushed.

“You have no clothes!’ exclaimed Left.

“You're naked!” exclaimed Right.

“Follow me, twins, we’re gonna have some fun.”

She led them to Rhodonite’s room - the fusion jumped when she saw her.

“S-S-Sa-Sadie!” she stammered. “A-are you…”

“We're having sex, want in?”

“I-I… o-okay!”

Sadie led her growing posse down onto the bridge, shouting down into engineering.

“Fluorite, you in?”

“Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssssssss!”

As Fluorite slithered out onto the bridge, Sadie strode up to Padparadscha, grinned and waited.

 _Beat_.

“Why yes, I would love to fuck you!” exclaimed Padparadscha.

Sadie laughed and pulled her into a deep kiss as each off-color’s clothes vanished. It promised to be a fun afternoon.


	93. Flat Peri

Peridot enjoyed being flattened.

 

Everyone knew this. So they weren’t surprised when Amethyst “acquired” a steamroller and proceeded to drive it towards Peri, who sprawled herself out (naked, of course) in front of it.

 

“Come on, come on…” Peridot begged, wanting to be flattened so badly.

 

“Oh yeah, you want this don’t you?” Amethyst said, sitting atop the steamroller.

 

“Fucking  _ yes,”  _ Peridot shouted. “Oh stars, here it comes…”

 

The steamroller reached Peridot’s feet, slowly squashing her body until it was as thin as a piece of paper. She remained frozen on the ground, a drooling smile on her face.

 

Amethyst hopped off and laid on top of the now-flat Peridot. Her clothes phased off as she noticed a wet spot around Peri’s crotch. 

 

“Heh,” Amethyst remarked. “If you liked that… You’re gonna  _ love  _ this.”


	94. Construct

**Construct**

“So… _umph!_ One of us isn't real…” said Stevonnie as Smoky ploughed their rear end.

“Probably you,” said Smoky, grabbing Stevonnie’s dick with one of their hands and stroking. “I feel too real.”

“Yeah? Well, so do I,” said Stevonnie. “So - ugh! - you must be the fake.”

“Guuh - fake or not, I can still make you - mph! - pretty damn happy,” chuckled Smoky. “Ooh… get ready, cloudy, Ol’ Smoky’s comin’ into the tunnel!”

“Cloudy?” Stevonnie grinned. “You… you're the cloud, you big… ahh… _AAAAAAAHHH—_ ”

There was a puff as the two orgasming fusions turned into nothingness.

Smokonnie Quartz grinned as they continued to masterbate, closing their eyes.

“I'm real,” they said.


	95. Bot

**Bot**

Steven woke up one morning to find Connie standing next to the bed, still as a rock - her whole body was made of painted metal, her hair was a solid mass, and her eyes glowed like LED lights. She was very clearly a robot.

“I bet Peridot did this,” Steven sighed, climbing out of bed and looking over his now mechanical wife. He had to admit, she looked good.

He tapped her metal breast and she suddenly sprang to life.

“USER STEVEN.HUSBANDO DETECTED,” she said. “PLAYING PRERECORDED MESSAGE.”

“ _Hey Steven, it's Connie! Me and Peri set this up as a surprise for you - it'll wear off tomorrow but for now, you've got your very own Conniebot! Oh, and I'm still in here, so I'll be having all the fun you have. See you soon!_ ”

Steven blushed, his hand going to his crotch.

“Uh, Conniebot? H-how does Connie feel?”

“USER CONNIE.HUMAN IS DEEPLY AROUSED AND WOULD LIKE YOU TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH THE ROBOT.”

“C-can you be less… mechanical?”

Connie gave him bedroom eyes and a seductive smile.

“ _Does User Steven find this personality file more appealing?_ ” she asked.

Steven swallowed.

“Y-yeah.”

Connie grinned and leapt forward, a suction hole opening up in her crotch as she literally tore off Steven’s pants.

“ _Well then… let's interface._ ”


	96. Connie's Weird, Weird Weekend Alone

Connie had been living with Steven for some time now, and for once, was happy to have some alone time. He was out for the weekend, visiting Homeworld with the Gems, leaving her with full access to his room.

 

_ Including  _ his room in the Temple.

 

Any normal woman would have simply used it to replicate sex with her boyfriend, but Connie? Connie was anything but normal.

 

Connie was  _ weird. _

 

She summoned a massive version of Steven with a twenty foot dick (riding it like a  _ horse) _ followed by ten more Stevens whose sole job it was to pleasure her.

 

Then she summoned Peedee. Then Jeff. Who were also made of jello and wobbled as they fucked.

 

Then she summoned the Crystal Gems. She had always enjoyed teasing Steven over how attractive the Gems were — after all, she may have been committed to him, but she knew good-looking women when she saw them — and now she was prepared to put her money where her mouth was.

 

Amethyst spawned dicks for arms, Pearl and Bismuth began fucking the brains out of each other (literally in Pearl’s case, as Bismuth’s member entered her gem), Lapis filled Peridot’s every orifice with watery tentacles and finally, Stevonnie appeared.

 

Connie pondered for a moment if this was weird, having sex with the manifestation of your own fusion.

 

But stars, she didn’t care. She would have to use this room more often. 

 

It was weird, but  _ very  _ fun.


	97. Voyeurism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow a human AU

**Voyeurism**

Their friend Amethyst had recommended her as a good ‘starting point’ in discovering their sexuality. “Her vids aren't great plot-wise,” she admitted, “but let's be real, you won't be watching for the plot.”

She was the third they watched that night. The first was a pretty nice one by two guys codenamed ‘red’ and ‘blue’ (the tension between them was palpable), and the second was a charming but flustered ameteur vid by a couple that ran a tourist trap out west, but it was Lapis Lazuli that really got them going. Pun intended.

She was alone, basically playing with sex toys - the premise was that she was testing them for the Pleasurable and Excitable Novelties for Interesting Sex Corporation, but Stevonnie didn't really care. Their pants went off, and before very long they were jerking off.

God, she was amazing - the blue hair and eyes, the face, the voice - notwithstanding her body, of course. She was mysterious and fascinating, and they wanted to know more…

They had just finished the vid when there was a knock at the door. They jumped up and stumbled over, opening it quickly.

“Sorry I was just-”

Their breath escaped them. There was Lapis in a gorgeous blue dress, blushing.

“Uh… Amethyst said you'd be open to meeting up?” she said, “And-and I saw you through the window from the bus stop, and I… uh…”

She glanced down and chuckled.

“You forgot to pull your pants up.”

Stevonnie gasped and yanked their pants up, face turning red.

“I, uh, um, I…”

Lapis pursed her lips.

“I… um, I can go if you're…”

“No, no, it's okay! I… uh… you want dinner?” asked Stevonnie.

“Y-yeah, sure!” replied Lapis. “A-and then, well… maybe we can watch another of my movies?”

Stevonnie grinned.

“I'd like that.”


	98. Polypearls and World Domination (Feat. Connie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: Connie is around 22 in this.

Their goal was simple. Make everyone worship their Pearl overlords. Goddesses, even. 

 

Connie had been taken on as an honorary Pearl, and she had some particularly  _ arousing _ ideas on how to achieve this.

 

By the end of the day, everyone on the planet had been transformed into a Pearl. They looked to the four main Pearls for guidance, for answers. Pearl commanded that everyone strip away the bonds of their past oppression, and embrace being a Pearl. Which was naturally interpreted as “strip naked,” all seven billion of them doing so simultaneously.

 

Connie went off to fuck the Pearl formerly known as Steven, while the four main Pearls went down on each other. Everyone else took this as an order — to make love to your partner(s) — and followed it to a T.

 

And when the four main Pearls decided to keep on going, never stopping the endless pleasure, their fellow Pearls followed, keeping the planet-wide orgy going in perpetuity.

 

As Connie was pleasured by Steven!Pearl, Peedee!Pearl and Jeff!Pearl, she felt at ease with the world, as if everything was meant to be this way.

 

Stars, it paid to be a Pearl.


	99. No. 69 Express

**No. 69 Express**

Stevonnie was trapped in a parallel universe where all their fusions and friends were human, so the day was already a bit weird.

They were on a train now, heading to this universe’s Beach City, when their gem started to glow. They suddenly felt quite hot and bothered.

Across the aisle, they could see Rainbow 2.0 and Smoky looking rather aroused themselves. Slowly, the former slipped his hand into his pants, while the latter moved over to Stevonnie’s side of the carriage.

They jumped and blushed as a hand slipped into their pants - Lapis had sat down next to her. Kiki now kneeled on the seat behind them, massaging their shoulders - then Sadie was there, gently stripping their clothes.

Stevonnie blinked.

“Well, it's been that kind of day,” they said.

They grabbed Lapis’ face and kissed her right on the mouth. In seconds, all their clothes had been stripped and they were all entangled in the aisle, fucking at fifty five miles an hour.

Needless to say, the police were waiting for them at their destination.

It was worth it.


	100. The Collab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of our 100th chapter, E350 and CaptainJZH did a collab in which we each wrote a section of this chapter (roughly 50-60 words per section), building off of each addition. Can you guess who did what?

Sadie and Amethyst lay under the covers and watched in bemusement as Peridot rifled through her devices.   
  
"C'mon, Dot, you know anything you find is gonna turn us on," said Amethyst.   
  
"Yes, but I need this specifically!" exclaimed Peridot. "I've wanted to share this all... aha!"   
  
"What is it, Peridot?" asked Sadie.   
  
"It's my latest invention..."

 

Peridot whipped out a phallic-looking device, smooth and black.

 

“That just looks like 90% of your inventions,” Sadie commented.

 

“Ah, but this is no mere  _ Reality Warper  _ or  _ Hypno-Wand,  _ this is far better! Behold, the  _ Fictionalizer!  _ With the ability to turn anything into pure fiction. Activated sexually, of course.”

 

Sadie and Amethyst’s smiles grew with intensity.

 

"This definitely works, Peri?" asked Amethyst.   
  
"Why certainly," replied Peridot. "Why not ask Lars?"   
  
Sadie tilted her head.   
  
"Lars... from the Adventures of Captain Lars? That sixties cartoon?"   
  
"He was previously your former co-worker," said Peridot.   
  
Amethyst blinked.   
  
"Well, I'm convinced," she said, grabbing the device and plunging into her sex.   
  
There was a knock at the door…

 

“Hey!” Lapis said, Stevonnie grinning behind her. “Have you seen those magazines Peridot lent me? The ones with the naked purple woman?”

 

“You mean Ame—” Sadie turned her head, realizing that in Amethyst’s place were a stack of lewd magazines, featuring the formerly-real Gem as a centerfold.

 

“Oh this is gonna be  _ fun,”  _ Sadie smirked.

 

Sadie turned to Peridot, finding her grinning as she pounded herself with the Fictionalizer.   
  
"Is this reversible?" she asked.   
  
Peridot grinned.   
  
"Absolutely no—"   
  
Sadie blinked. Lying next to the discarded device was a paperback novel - a piece of erotica called 'Unlocking Peridot,' with a naked Peridot fingering herself on the cover.   
  
Her arousal soaring, Sadie grabbed the Fictionalizer...

 

“Let’s do this,” she said, stripping naked.

 

Sadie sat on the Fictionalizer, taking it up the ass. It began to glow, making her feel pleasure like nothing before.

 

She could feel her essence deconstruct itself from reality. But what kind of fiction did she want to become?

 

Sadie closed her eyes, and thought hard. She knew what she wanted…

 

There she was; words on a screen. Nothing more.   
  
In each of her hundred chapters, she was doing something new and different; usually with Amethyst and Peridot. She could sense the different styles - there seemed to be two authors. She could project her mind into any drabble, or exist as simple words.   
  
She felt eyes upon her…

 

“Oh hey, it’s our Kink Fic!” Stevonnie said, picking up the tablet. 

 

“It’s pretty popular, isn’t it?” Lapis asked, flipping through the lewd Amethyst mags.

 

“Yeah! I’m surprised people like our ‘Sadie’ OC so much,” Stevonnie mused. “There’s even fanart of her now…” Stevonnie shook their head. “Wanna post the next two chapters? And then, uh, read some of this ‘Peridot’ book?”

 

“Oh you know it,” Lapis said, sliding down her sweatpants and phasing away her top. Stevonnie blushed, also stripping down as they prepared the next post. They noticed a strange device laying nearby, which almost resembled a dildo. The couple shrugged, both deciding to give it a try.

 

The two vanished instantly, with a PornCenter video playing on the tablet, entitled “SEX STAR VONNIE AND HOT BABE LAPIS GONE WILD”

 

And they were happy with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with our weird, sci-fi fetishes this long! Here's to 100 more!


	101. Live With Sadie Killer

“Hello folks! This is the United Homeworld News Corps, bringing you all the latest gossip from the galaxy. Today, I’m here with Sadie Killer, universe-known superstar for the past...how long has it been?”

 

“Twenty million years this December,” the rockstar said, not looking a day over 25.

 

“Ah, well, you wanted to show us something, didn’t you?”

 

Sadie smirked. “Oh, I think your viewers are gonna love this.”

 

She took the reporter — a short, timid Ruby — over to a wall of various objects. She recognized them all as resembling the long-lost Crystal Gems in some manner. A statue of Amethyst, a bust of Peridot, two bodysuits of Lapis and Stevonnie, a...a  _ dildo  _ of Pearl...a  _ fleshlight  _ of Bismuth...a gooey slime of Ruby and Sapphire, mixed together into Garnet… And when she looked closer, the reporter could tell that they had all just been used. Fluids dripping off of the dildo. Cum still inside the fleshlight. Saliva marks on the bodysuits. The Ruby felt herself get hot and bothered, but attempted to focus back on her job.

 

And Sadie had just removed her shirt, making out with the nude Amethyst statue.

 

“The gang’s all here, heheh,” Sadie teased, pulling the reporter close. She dropped her microphone, utterly smitten by the rockstar. “You wanna be part of it, hot-stuff?”

 

Ruby’s crotch grew wetter and wetter, blushing as the woman’s breasts pressed up against her own. “Y-yes…” Ruby finally said, mesmerized.

 

Sadie snapped her fingers, and on the shelf was a book of lewd pictures, all of the cute little Ruby. She sat down in her chair and opened up the book, beginning to finger herself.

 

“I gotta have interviews more often,” Sadie mused.


	102. Pearl Club

**Pearl Club**

“Pearl?!”

Of all the things Amethyst had expected to find at the new woman-only strip club, her fellow Crystal Gem was at the bottom of the list. Yet here she was, completely naked before her.

“I do have a life outside saving the world, you know,” said Pearl, grinning. “Besides, I, not alone - aren't I, Pearls?”

Blue, Yellow and Pink sauntered over.

“I never got to let this hang out in Yellow Diamond’s Court!” exclaimed Yellow, slapping her butt. Amethyst blushed.

“I… uh, um, well… good for you guys!”

Pearl grinned.

“If you like _this_ , I'm sure we'd be open for a little… _private_ time,” she said.

“I… I'm supposed to be showing this place to Sapphire, and…”

She trailed off as she noticed her companion in _deep_ conversation with about eight Rubies.

“Ah, what the heck! Let's make an Opal!”

She grinned broadly as the Pearls led her out back, stripping off her jacket and pants and shapeshifting a large cock.

The night had only just begun.


	103. Gettin' Strong

**Gettin’ Strong**

Pearl had been working out all day - by which she meant working out her eyes, watching the attractive buff woman with the rainbow hair. Bismuth.

She'd intended to hurry off, but as it turned out, her locker in the locker room was right next to Bismuth’s. She could smell her fragrance - it was intoxicating.

“You've been lookin’ at me all day, haven't you?” said Bismuth.

“Uh…”

“And every day for three weeks,” added Bismuth.

“I… I, uh…”

Bismuth smirked.

“C’mon.”

She dragged her into the showers, grinning as she threw off her sweat encrusted top. Pearl turned bright red - she wore nothing underneath, revealing her thick, glistening breasts. Bismuth’s grin widened as she stripped off her pants - no underwear either.

“Well,” she said. “Your turn, Ms…”

“P-Pearl,” replied Pearl, slowly stripping her own top and bra off.

“Nice to meet ya, Pearl,” said Bismuth. “How about we have some fun, huh?”

She turned the shower on, and Pearl found herself watching as the hot water ran down her beautiful body, the shining droplets accenting everything.

Then Bismuth pulled her in close and she just about fainted.


	104. The Men of Beach City

It started with Greg and Mr. Smiley. Just a quickie behind the arcade, no biggie. Well, a blow job turned into all-out fucking, and loud, at that. 

 

Lars happened by, and felt a stirring in his loins. No one was looking, so no harm in whipping it out and giving a few shakes, he thought.

 

Well, so did Buck and Sour Cream, who saw Lars jerking off and decided to join. Soon, jerking off turned into kissing, which turned into fucking, right next to Greg and Harold.

 

Jaime and Dewey even showed up, blushing at the sight, and felt themselves drawn to the sexy men on display. They even decided to split up, Jaime fucking in Lars’ group while Bill got fucked by Greg and Harold.

 

Then came Mr. Fryman and Kofi, who let loose their inhibitions and made out on the spot. Doug Maheswaran even showed up, about to break up the orgy, but was seduced into it himself.

 

And across town, a 24-year-old Steven got rammed by Peedee as Jeff sucked him off.

 

Today was a good day to be a man in Beach City.


	105. Battle of Kinks and Minds

Steven had woken up in the past, but not as himself. Connie didn’t wake up as herself, either. 

 

Connie had woken up inside the body of Pearl, with Steven naturally inhabiting the body of Pink Diamond.

 

It was a weird thing to wake up to, but Connie was  _ super  _ into it. And Steven, well, whatever was good for Connie was good for him.

 

“Why hello,  _ My Diamond,”  _ Connie said, phasing away Pearl’s clothes. “Is there anything I can do for you today?” She stepped atop Pink Diamond’s... _ his... _ crotch, feeling a bulge rise beneath her. “Oh, I see your mind is a bit... _ preoccupied.” _

 

Steven...Pink Diamond practically drooled with desire, taking Pearl...Connie and bringing her lips to...his...hers…

 

They could feel these bodies’ original minds battling for dominance with their own, which only turned them on further.

 

“My Pearonnie…” Stevink said as his mind became a slush of Pink Diamond’s and Steven’s. “I want you...to make love to me.”

 

“Yes, My Steiamond,” Pearl said, giving Pink a sultry look. They were all alone on the moon, after all.

 

Nobody would suspect a thing.


	106. Jeff's Problem

**Jeff’s Problem**

Day thirty-three.

Peedee Fryman had been through a lot in his thirty years of marriage to Jeff. But this might be the oddest thing they'd ever had to weather.

Specifically, Jeff had woken up incredibly horny every day for a month. And if he was ever going to focus on his mayoral duties, Peedee needed to help him get the edge off.

Which meant _every morning_ , he had to get up first, lube himself up, wait for Jeff to wake, and then pound him in the rear until both of them had come - twice on particularly bad days. And then he'd go to work at the docks, and Lenny and Carl would ask him questions (“Why do you look tired? Why do you smell funny? What's that white stuff on your _ooooooooooooh_.”)

The things he did for love.

Ah well, he thought as he lathered his muscular, naked body once more. It hadn't gotten old yet.


	107. Smokonnie & Sadie

Smokonnie loved being themself. They were three people in one — Steven, Connie, Amethyst — and they couldn’t have felt better.

 

Not only that, combining Steven’s niceness, Connie’s hidden kinkiness, and Amethyst’s inherent raunchiness made Smokonnie the talk of the town, attracting looks from everyone...including Sadie.

 

“Hey there, sweet and sexy!” Smokonnie said as they entered the Big Donut. Sadie blushed. All Smokonnie was wearing was a  _ very  _ revealing swimsuit, their breasts practically hanging out. 

 

“Uh, what...what’ll it be...today?” Sadie stammered as Smokonnie leaned over the counter.

 

“Something sweet,” they smirked. “And blonde. And short. With nothin’ on it.”

 

Sadie quickly pulled Smokonnie into a kiss, grabbing the fusion and throwing them over the counter. She ripped off her shirt, panting heavily.

 

“Is this enough?” she asked.

 

“Oh yeah,” Smokonnie smiled. “More than enough."


	108. The Way Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly more serious than most of my drabbles, I think.

**The Way Out**

Kevin’s Bordello had seen something of a boom during the Nazi occupation. The owner, an American who claimed to be apolitical, rubbed shoulders with SS officers, making sure they have the pick of the litter. It was a dark time, very dark.

Lapis, for the most part, has managed to wriggle out of serving the new jackbooted customer base. But today that luck had run out - an SS corporal, one hand on his trouser buttons and the other on his machine pistol, strode purposefully towards her.

“I think,” he declared, “I shall have this—”

“She's mine.”

A tall stranger walked in, throwing a purse towards Kevin. He felt the weight and his jaw dropped slightly.

“I-uh-you know, corporal, we have plenty more women available for you today,” he stammered, “How about we just go over here…”

Lapis swallowed as the stranger walked up to her.

“Stevonnie,” they whispered, “I work for the Allies. I need to keep up my cover, so we’ll head to your room, but you don't have to…”

Lapis blushed, brushing their cheek.

“We… we've gotta keep up your cover, right?” she replied sheepishly. “Let's go upstairs…”


	109. For the Benefit of Amethyst

**For the Benefit of Amethyst**

Glassy eyed and filled with bliss, Peridot massaged Amethyst’s back. At the other end, Sadie’s face was buried in her thighs, while the purple gem’s hands, shapeshifted into dicks, were stroked by Vidalia and Jenny. To top it all off, Lapis’ watery tentacles explored her rear.

It was certainly not what Pearl was expecting to find when she entered the Beach House.

“A-Amethyst! Right in the house?!”

“Steven’s out, P,” replied Amethyst. “Besides, there's nothing wrong with pleasing me, isn't there?”

Pearl blinked. “There's nothing wrong with pleasing you.”

“In fact, I reckon you'd very much like to get involved.”

“I'd very much like to get involved.”

“I think you want to go deep inside of me.”

“I want to go deep inside of you.”

Pearl, her will suddenly AWOL, kneeled down in front of the purple gem, lifting up a foot - a vagina had appeared on the sole, and without further ado, she brought it up to her mouth.

Amethyst grinned, reclining her head back.

This ‘compelling voice’ power she'd discovered was _sweet_.


	110. Heart of the Kink-stal Gems

Stevink and Pearonnie sat in the moonbase, their minds still a slush. They had broken down into blearily kissing each other naked; the only thing either of them knew for sure was that they loved each other. 

 

“My Steviomond,” Pearonnie began, “We have...visitors.”

 

From the look on her face, Stevink could tell Pearonnie had planned something. Something he would love, for sure.

 

“Oh Pearls?” Pearonnie called out. Two Pearls, Blue and Yellow, walked up the stairs, both of them blushing at the two nude gems. But these were not simply Blue and Yellow Pearl…

 

“Hehe, hey Stevink,” Peedellow Pearl remarked. “This time travel junk is  _ great.” _

 

“...Hi,” Blueff Pearl waved, blushing a deep blue. “I would love to, uh, serve My Steviamond.”

 

Stevink smirked, and gestured for all the Pearls to come forward. They in turn jumped on top of him, sprawled across his tall, pink body.

 

It paid to be a Diamond, Stevink thought.


	111. Permanent Body Swap is the Best Kind

It was weird at first, Amethyst being in Pearl’s body and Peridot in Bismuth’s (and vice versa on their end) but they were quickly turned onto the idea after the first time they had sex in each other’s bodies. Amethyst got to have Pearl’s slim, tall figure, while Pearl got to have Amethyst’s voluptuous ass, thighs...pretty much everything. Peridot got to have Bismuth’s bulging muscles and magnificent shapeshifting prowess, while Bismuth was quite fine with Peri’s bubble butt, skin-tight uniform and metal powers.

 

“Pearl” went down on “Bismuth,” sucking on her massive member. “Mmm...oh yeah...go Ameth… I mean…  _ Pearl…” _

 

“Amethyst” ate out “Peridot’s” ass, licking her cute little hole wet. “Pearl… I mean…  _ Amethyst…  _ I want you inside me…”

 

“Say no more…  _ Peri,”  _ her lover proclaimed, holding up her huge purple cock. “You know… I think I’m going to like this body.”

 

“So...so am I…” ‘Bismuth’ said. 

 

“I...ah! I think… I think we should keep it this way,” ‘Peridot’ said as ‘Amethyst’ shoved her dick between the green gem’s cheeks. 

 

“Mmhmm…” ‘Pearl’ nodded, still sucking on Bismuth’s cock.

 

And with that, they were all in agreement.


	112. Mile High Club

**Mile High Club**

20,000 feet is not the best place to have an erection. Yet Steven had it, and it would not go away.

Connie leaned over to him.

“I can help,” she whispered, “C’mon.”

They crept to the bathroom, passing a wary looking cabin attendant. Connie flicked the lock shut behind them and the light turned on.

“Pants down,” she said as he sat down, “I…”

_Bing-bong._

“ _Attention passengers, we’re going to be hitting a slight bit of turbulence, please don't be alarmed._ ”

Connie grinned, grasping Steven’s cock.

“Well,” she said, “Looks like the plane’s gonna help us out. Here we go…”

\----

“I know they're having sex,” said the attendant, opening the door with his key, “And you just can't let them—”

The attendants froze as they caught sight of Stevonnie sitting on the toilet, dick in hand, panting from the orgasm they'd clearly just had. They stared at the intruders, turning red.

“Um… nevermind then, carry on.”


	113. Possession II: Electric Boogaloo

Amethyst and Peridot woke up in a state of euphoria. Their bodies ached from the constant pounding they had both received the previous night, at the whim of their possessors, Steven and Connie.

 

And damn, did they love it. The act of being possessed was like nothing else...except maybe being the possessors. Which was of course what Amethyst and Peridot did next.

 

That night, as Steven shapeshifted his cock to be as big as Connie could take it, it was Peridot inside the man’s body, with Amethyst in Connie’s. 

 

“Oh  _ Steven!” _ ConAmethyst mockingly said, revealing her throbbing crotch, “I yearn for your ravagement!”

 

“Heheheh…” StevPeridot remarked in return. “Well here I come,  _ Connie.” _

 

StevPeridot’s dick slid itself into ConAmethyst’s pussy, and the couple was off to the races for the rest of the night, in a constant cycle of fucking.

 

Neither of them wanted to go back to their old bodies anytime soon.


	114. The New Shorty Squad

**New Shorty Squad**

Stevonnie pulled the Peridot mask over their head and marvelled at how their whole cranium was reshaped to be exactly like the green gem’s. They felt their new thighs - god, you could crush a lemon between them.

“Nyehehehehehe!” Stevonnie blushed and held their mouth - that laugh had been exactly like Peridot’s.

“Lookin’ good, P-Dot.” Amethyst - no, Lapis Lazuli strode towards them, a smirk on her face; a penis shapeshifted on her crotch.

“Th-thanks,” replied Stevonnie, “You look pleasurable yourself, Ames.”

Lapis cupped Stevonnie’s cheek.

“Shall we, _Peridactyl?_ ” she asked.

“We certainly shall, _Big A._ ”

Stevonnie leaned forward, kissing Lapis on the lips as they dropped to the ground, exploring each other’s new bodies hungrily…

“Okay, we do _not_ sound like that,” said ‘Stevonnie,’ watching over a camera from the other room.

“Their role playing is totally below standard,” added ‘Lapis.’

There was a brief silence.

“Wanna fu-”

“ _Yes_.”


	115. The Package

**The Package**

Jamie looked decidedly hot and bothered when Dewey answered that day. He said very little, handing him a box and telling him not to open it until he was alone. It was very bizarre.

Dewey shrugged, taking it back to his bedroom. He turned the box over - it was from Jamie himself.

Slowly, he opened it. First, he found a note - _Amethyst and Peridot let me borrow some tech. Just remember to bring it back at our date on Friday. — Jamie._

‘Huh,” said Dewey, “Is it some kind of hairdryer or…”

He pulled off the paper cover.

There, in the box, was a penis and balls. It was detached perfectly, skin covering the area that would have connected to the body, and it perfectly matched Jamie’s skin tone. He picked it up - it was warm - and found another note beneath.

_I feel everything you do to it. Have fun. :)_

Dewey blinked. It couldn't… it was… _these were his actual dick and balls._

Dewey processed this for a moment.

“Well,” he said, pulling down his pants, “Might as well make the most of it.”

And he did.


	116. esrevnnoC

Steven and Connie knew full well that time was going backwards. That’s why they planned it this way. First, they had sex. Which was amazing, as usual.

 

Then, they activated the Reality Warper, reversing the flow of time.

 

Then, they had sex. Which was amazing, as usual.

 

Steven came hard into Connie’s ass, filling her with his thick seed.

 

Steven thrust harder and harder, his member going in and out of his girlfriend’s sweet hole. 

 

Connie moaned, “F-faster Steven, faster!” 

 

Steven glided back and forth, slowing easing himself in between Connie’s plump cheeks.

 

“Fuck, Steven, yes I want it!” Connie shouted, overcome with desire.

 

Steven smirked, pressing his dick up against Connie’s behind. “You want this, babe?” he asked.

 

Connie laid down on her belly, nonchalantly raising her buttocks into the air. 

 

Steven’s pants dropped to the floor, revealing his massive dick. 

 

Connie stripped down, revealing her muscled, yet skinny figure.

 

Steven and Connie made out, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

 

Then they had sex. Which was amazing, as usual. 

 

_ Especially  _ in reverse.


	117. Weird (Gem) Science

When Steven and Connie volunteered for Peridot’s science experiments, they knew exactly what they were getting into.

 

After all, her lab assistant was Amethyst, which meant any and all seriousness was out the window.

 

First, she hit Steven with gamma rays, which made him grow bigger and more muscular. His clothes were about to tear off, too.

 

“Ooh very nice,” Peridot said.

 

“I wonder how hung he is,” Amethyst commented, making Connie blush.

 

Then she hit Connie with a shrink ray, making her only a few inches tall. She was very clearly into it, climbing out of her still-large clothes fully nude. Steven picked her up, his pants now fully torn off, placing her on his member. 

 

Then Amethyst grabbed the controls, zapping the two with a mind-eraser ray, wiping the two’s minds of everything but their base instincts. Connie, her eyes glazed over, hugged and rode Steven’s foot-long cock, making the man feel pleasure like he never knew.

 

“You want to turn them back yet?” Peridot said as she handed Amethyst the popcorn.

 

“Eh, they said to leave ‘em going as long as possible so… leave ‘em going.”


	118. On Stage

**On Stage**

There were two things one had to know before one attended the Sadie Killer and the Suspects Triple X Rave.

One - it was a rave. That went without saying.

Two - it was an 18+ rave. Raciness was to be expected.

For example, upon the stage one could see Sadie Killer herself facing Lapis Lazuli, pelvis forwards as she made out with the lithe, tall gem, a mix of white and light blue leaking from their crotches. Behind Lapis was Stevonnie, pounding hard into their girlfriend’s rear, while at the same time lifting Sadie by the rear to ensure that she was eye-level with both her partners.

As they writhed in pleasure, the rest of the band kept up a beat - an almost psychedelic sound, reminiscent of the Doors or Jefferson Airplane, that kept the crowd going in more ways than one. It was a den of pleasure, a house of hedonism that would surely earn the ire of ‘concerned citizens’ come morning, but for now served only to mesmerise and excite all who laid eyes on it.

Well, almost all.

“Is it just me or does it sorta look like they're doing the worm?”

“I'm never taking you to a rave again, Daryl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn it Daryl.


End file.
